Friday Funnies

Election 2016

Greetings friends, it's time for another episode of Daddy Hawk’s Wandering Windshield Dialogue. It's just before 6 AM, and I've had no caffeine yet. I’m not sure if that bodes well for this episode or not. My Sister…The Devil checked my blood pressure yesterday which came in at a relatively mellow 110 over 69. So, in today's episode, we will tackle the tragic comedy that is the 2016 presidential elections.

As long time readers know, politics is one of my favorite spectator sports right up there with NASCAR. There's a fraud, corruption, conspiracy theories, cluelessness, allegations of murder, adultery, and the dead shall rise and vote once again (at least in Chicago). It's a bad teen zombie horror movie masquerading as a governmental system.

A few months ago, I saw a meme on Facebook about the elections. The caption was: "The problem with this election is that one of them will win." Being a native Texan, I think the second problem with this election is that, no matter who wins, our next president will be from New York.

It really makes me wish Richard Pryor's “Vote Nobody” campaign from Brewster's Millions was a real, viable option.

Let's start with the third-party candidates. I really have to chuckle at the unofficial campaign slogan someone came up with on Facebook for the Gary Johnson campaign. Nothing says vote for me like "Feel the Johnson " (with apparently no apologies to the Bernie Sanders campaign).  So, does that make Gary Johnson supporters jockstraps?

Libertarians have the best shot of any of the third parties. And, by best shot, I mean none whatsoever. They're currently pulling just under 15% in recent national polls which means they could probably spoil for one of the two main candidates not unlike what Ross Perot did in ’92 which helped the Clinton’s and the snatch the White House the first time. This time, though, the big Johnson ticket is sounding more Democrat than conservative, libertarian or Republican with their stance on guns and other subjects. So, Hillary may see a statistically significant number of former Bernie supports feeling the Johnson instead of the Bern. If that happens enough in the battleground states, say hello to First Lady Melania Trump instead of First Philanderer Bill Clinton.

As someone who considers himself to be a small “L” constitutionalist/libertarian, this gives me some small measure of hope.

Speaking of the Constitution party, according to one of those silly Facebook quizzes, that’s with whom I am most closely aligned on the issues. Color me surprised. I didn't even know they existed. Who knew? Unfortunately, they are polling about as well as Lynden LaRouche and he’s not even running this year.

As an aside, there's nothing to throw your train of thought off like being stuck in a traffic jam because some idiots who can't drive in the rain. I'm trying to bypass this mess so I won't even get the payoff of seeing the wrecked cars. Oops, I was wrong. I got to see the crunched cars after all. Major front in damage to a regular cab pickup of some description with a smoking radiator and all. No photos for you. I can only do so much at once.

But, I digress as usual.

Speaking of digressions, there's the Green party. That's really all I need to say about them. I have no idea what they think they can accomplish other than waste the money of some useful idiots. I did hear a segment on the Sean Hannity show with Dr. Jill Stein who is their presidential candidate this year. As near as I can tell, their platform is to take the worst parts of the New Deal, ignore history and all economic wisdom to the contrary, wave a magic and magically create jobs and a healthy economy. Good luck you ignorant twits. At least Bernie was honest about being a socialist.

That brings us to the Democrats. I have to say that I think it is a sad commentary on the party that the BEST candidates they could put forward for the primaries was an aging, self-avowed socialist and, arguably, the single most corrupt woman in American politics. She continues to be dogged by scandals that have brought down lesser people; and, yet, nothing sticks to her. The fact that Hillary had to conspire with the DNC to rig the primaries to beat Bernie is nothing short of hysterical and is further commentary on just how fed up America is with the establishment of both parties.

Discussing the establishment brings us to the Republicans. If Bernie was so unpalatable that the donkies rigged the game to pick Hillary, Trump is a poison pill with a chainsaw enema for the GOP elephants. Say what you will about Trump, but he beat a deep field of contenders including some serious talent from hard core conservatives to moderate establishment favorites. A lot of good candidates underestimated him and/or misread the direction the electoral winds were blowing. Either way, Trump is the horse the ‘Pubs are stuck with and has at least as good a chance as Hillary of winning the White House.

My final thoughts for now is that this election could really go either way. I’ve not seen voter discontent at this level in my lifetime or in my study of American history. I would submit the recent Brexit vote up for consideration as a case study in the triumph of the will of the people over the desires of their supposed betters in the establishment. I think we will see record setting voter turnout especially in the battleground swing states. Were I a betting man, I would give odds in favor of Trump. However, I could not begin to give an estimate on an over/under or point spread. I seriously doubt the winning candidate will have a clear majority and, thus, will have no clear mandate.

Friday Funnies

Testing...Testing

Testing…testing…1…2…3.

Is this thing on?

Hello? [hello…ello…lo]

Is anybody still out there?

[Looks at the pulpit…runs a finger along the edge of the lectern …blows the dust off the top]

It's been a while since I stood here in the pulpit with anything important to say. The last time was to update you all on the failed attempt to adopt M&M 2.0.

That whole situation really took its toll on The Queen and I. It's taken a long time to really feel any desire to sit down and write anything substantive. There are still stories that I want to tell, and there are still things in the world around me that I want to comment on. But, it's been difficult to work up any kind of motivation and energy here lately.

So, I thought I would try something new. As most of you know, smart phones these days have nifty voice recognition built into them to ease email and word processing functions. So, I'm actually “writing” this to you by dictating it to my phone as I drive to work.

This will obviously require some later editing at a real computer as this “dictation” will be mostly stream of consciousness. But, hopefully I can use this windshield time that usually just gets devoted to listening to talk radio, music or an audio version of the Bible to actually put down some coherent thoughts.

As I said, there are still stories that I would like to record for M&M's sake. There is the chocolate chip cookie dough story, learning to fly, my crazy grandfather, memories of my grandmother's.

There is the story of Mimi going toe to toe with several people, sometimes verbally, sometimes not. There are my thoughts on the current election cycle. There is a whole series of posts I would like to do on the Constitution and the first 10 amendments.

Then, there are the book ideas. I've had at least two book ideas swirling around in my head for a long time. I just need to have time to start writing. If this experiment in dictation works, this may be the solution to getting those books out of my head and into print. I may share an excerpt that is the basis for the book soon and see what you think.

Or, I may not. We'll just have to see.

For now, let's just leave it that I haven't forgotten about the friends and connections I've made on the blog. And I'm looking forward to hearing what you all had to say in response to what I had to share.