Showing posts with label Miscellaneous Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miscellaneous Stuff. Show all posts

Monday, March 16, 2020

I Will Never Know...

I was at Total Wine a few days ago to get a bottle or two for The Queen. While there, I spotted this. 


According to the Glenfiddich website, that is a 70 centiliter bottle. The Google conversion math wizard says that converts to 24 ounces more or less.  So, a wee dram of that Sccotch is just a touch over $1583 an ounce. 

Blink, blink. 

That drink was distilled and casked in the year I was born give or take a year or two. As curious as I am to find out how it tastes, I never will. I can't even bring myself to spend more than $30 for a bottle of wine. No way I'm ever going to be able to buy a bottle of Scotch that costs more than every car I've ever owned. 

Still though...any one wanting to gift me a tumbler full can reach out to me through the blog. I'll even say real nice things about the benefactor. 

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Liberty Cookbook

I have mentioned a time or two my grandmother's Victory Cook Book which is an heirloom of shared custody between My Sister...The Devil and I. The cook book had been in MS...TD's custody in recent years before, inexplicably, turning up at Mimi's house. I took the opportunity during recent visit at Mimi's to take a few photos of it to share. 


The cover has seen better days and is no longer attached to the binding...which is also MIA. 


My favorite page in the entire book. The much celebrated Cinnamon Cookie recipe. 



I love these sections as they give a window into life during WWII. Can you imagine feeding a family today on $15 a week? The mind boggles. 

Friday, September 20, 2019

You've Never Really Lived...

...until you've vacuumed your back yard.

I know it sounds like a really messed up punishment you'd give a kid for some epic screw up, but this really happened recently.

You see, several years ago, The Queen convinced me we needed patio furniture. Pro tip to all: patio furniture should be made out of dimensional lumber. Anything else is a waste of money. Case on point to follow.

The Queen, being a serious shopper when she sets her mind to it, found a listing on Craigslist for a little out of the way shop that had a set up patio furniture for sale for a stupid low price. If you've ever priced patio furniture at a big box store, you know dropping a kilo buck is not uncommon for "decent" patio furniture. I forget the exact price, but I think it was sub $500. This is almost Guido "It Fell Off The Truck" territory, but we checked the place out and it was legit.

Any deal, one of the selling points for The Queen regarding this particular set of patio furniture was that the table had a glass top. Pro Tip Numero Dos: Never, EVER, buy a glass top patio table in North Texas (where hail storms with baseball or larger hail are a regular thing). Luckily, for me at least, this set of patio furniture managed to dodge several hail storms and even one tornado. Unfortunately, time and weather had not been kind to this set of furniture. Texas heat is brutal, rain rusts metal, things break and get lost...you get the picture.

So, after about a decade of service, we put the patio furniture aside for eventual disposal and/or repurposing.

Well, along came the dogs. Two dogs who'd never met a free range bunny in the backyard before. They really wanted to get to know Taco a lot better. Taco was less than thrilled with that idea.

So, The Queen decreed that a barrier must be erected to separate Taco and the pups. A trip to Home Depot and the parting of  $80 to$100 of my cash later, and we had a barrier. Of sorts. The dogs, managed to defeat my best efforts at fencing on a distressingly regular basis. Part of the problem was that we had to have a gate to allow access to the Taco side of the fence. This was the weakness that the dogs exploited. The Queen had a light bulb moment, and the table top from the patio furniture was pressed into service as a sliding gate supplement.

It did not end well.

Roughly 3' x 7' of shattered glass
One fine summer day, the weather turned nasty in a hurry with winds blowing storms in toot sweet. That lovely slab of glass patio table top toppled over and immediately fragmented into about a million little pieces of super sharp silicon.

Well, I needed an excuse to by a shop vac. I just never guessed it would be to vacuum the yard.



Sunday, August 11, 2019

Sunday Funnies


The only thing wrong with is that there are not three winters in Texas (except maybe Amarillo). Winter is usually on a Thursday.


Have fun storming the castle.

Having grown very rapidly between 5TH and 6TH grade (seriously...over a foot of growth in 1 year) and a metabolism that resulted in not being able to put on any muscle mass, my back and joints have been protesting for the better part of 35 years now. You learn to live with it and adapt.


I could eat brisket pretty much every day. Brisket tacos will be the death of me.








Spiders are allowed to stay in our house as long as they stay in their webs in the corner to keep the fly and mosquito population in check. If they violate this rule by dropping on us from the ceiling, we have a brief interlude of interpretative dance before counseling them on poor life choices and relocating them to the back porch for a time out.


I'm pretty sure this violates Federal law and common sense...I want it.


Can you imagine either Archie Bunker or The Jeffersons airing today?


Awkward.

Tacos are one of the four main food groups. They are essential to a healthy diet.


When sitting in a boat drinking a beer just isn't cutting it anymore.

 I'd fly it.


Nope. No one will know a thing. I'll be faking my death and disappearing.


The French Army tests out its new tactical diapers.



Evil finds a way. Always.


Gotta love dogs. They'll do anything.


This is actually very true.


The struggle is real.


The youngest nephew and his wife just spawned their first tricycle motor. I sent him this.


If you don't get this one, have a young person explain it.


There is absolutely nothing suspicious about Epstein's "suicide". Nothing at all. The rope found around his neck was purely coincidental to the two gunshot wounds to the back of the head and the drug overdose and the HRC monogrammed scarf stuffed in his mount.

Monday, May 6, 2019

Miscellaneous, Randomness and Other Stuff

In no particular order, I thought I would open the tap a little bit and relieve some pressure in the blog material accumulator before things get too jumbled up.

In the Frankensteinian "Fire Bad!" category, Number One Follower had an unfortunate incident in his home shop a while back. To add insult to misfortune, it was were the bulk of his firearms and associated accessories were stored. Neither NOF nor his wife were home at the time. Fortunately, a neighbor called NOF and the fire department before things got too out of control. That also triggered calls from NOF to the FD that there was ammunition and such in the shop. I also got a call to come assist with removing items as necessary. The fire department investigator said the fire was accidental. Based on the area of origin, the most likely culprit is faulty/damaged wiring. The good news is that NOF has pretty good insurance and should come out of the deal in pretty good shape overall. 

Formerly a plastic shelving unit full of ammunition. 

Ruger Precision Rifle with heat damaged barrel
The Queen and I decided it was high time for some one on one quality time not too long ago. We love our daughter, M&M dearly and will and have taken her pretty much everywhere with us. So, it was not much of a surprise to either of us that it had been more than 7 years since the two of us had taken  solo getaway. Plans were hatched, and we hoped in The Queen's chariot for a long weekend jaunt down to Corpus Christi. I should make a brief side note here. Anytime The Queen is in the car, her eyes are invariably drawn to animals in distress. This trip was no different. I was in the passenger seat, head down, working (being able to work from literally anywhere there is a half way decent cellular data connection has huge advantages for me) when I hear a gasp from the driver's seat.

I asked what the function was, and The Queen informed me that she saw a cat in the center median of the highway. Said highway being 1-35 in Kyle, TX just south of Austin which is six lanes of NAFTA's main thoroughfare in the US. So, I told The Queen to flip a U-turn at the next exit and go back in search of the feline. The Queen was conflicted for a moment between her concern for the cat and her desire not to ruin our trip. I reminded her that, if we did not make efforts to resolve the mystery of said feline's fate, The Queen would spend the rest of the trip worrying about it.

After a failed first attempt to relocate the fur ball, we were able reacquire the ungrateful fur turd cat on The Queen's pet radar with the second north/south U-turn circuit. Not wanting to spook the cat into running into the highway and also being fairly certain that the center median was not wide enough for the chariot, I had The Queen Park in the outside shoulder. After assessing the chances of making it across and back more or less in one piece, I found a narrow window in traffic through which I could reasonably shamble across three lanes of interstate without getting flattened by a semi or causing a soccer mom to panic stop a mini van.

Then, I began the process of trying to convince Kitty McDeathwish that I was a really nice guy who was not with the government but "here to help.(TM)" After a couple of tentative crouching duck walks and sidling shuffles, I was able to get within sniffing distance of the cat. He/she/it? (we were never on first gender basis with each other) gave me a cursory sniff before allowing me to touch its head briefly before retreating back out of arms length. After several more tense moments of getting back into arm's length and watching traffic (you'd be surprised at how many people can't stay between the lines [I'm looking at you white Ford SUV...you're lucky I didn't slash your tires]), I spotted a window in the traffic that offered a reasonable chance of success, grabbed a double handful of fur, and commenced to hoofing it back across the highway. The cat was pissed off thoroughly unamused and expressed its displeasure by trying to eviscerate my arm. Fortunately,  my wind breaker took most of the  abuse. Once we reached the grassy shoulder, I engaged the catapult and released it in the tall grass of the shoulder fully realizing we weren't done with the rescue yet.

Your Truly, trying to garner the trust of a feral cat and questioning my life choices.
After assuring myself that I was not bleeding to death and retrieving a bottle of water and a wet wipe from the car to wash the cat spit off my arm and out of the puncture wounds, I returned to my efforts to complete the rescue of the bag full of razor blades just in time to receive the assistance of one of Kyle PD's finest. We had to herd the cat (literally) to a spot where we could grab it. I got a grip on it just before it tried to imitate a speed bump in the highway again. This time, the cat got up under the sleeve of my jacket and did it's level best to chew my arm off. I handed the ugly, pointy thing off to the officer who, wisely, was wearing mechanics gloves and a bullet proof vest. He escorted the cat across the service road into the woods on the other side where it was released into the relative safety of the country side.


No good deed goes unpunished.
After thanking the officer and stopping the bleeding (again), we made tracks to the nearest Starbucks for a more thorough clean up with hot water in the restroom. I'll be darned if those puncture wounds didn't bleed most of the rest of the day. They were pretty tender for the next several days too. As of this writing a couple of weeks post rescue, I still have one puncture that is still scabbed over and serving as a reminder to wear armor and bring tazers when dealing with stray cats.

M&M continues to grow like a weed. She just finished the second grade, she got a gold medal at her piano theory test, auditioned for the national piano guild and is generally continuing to be her amazing self.

Tinkle and Taco keeping a watchful eye on the pups. 
The puppies are also growing like weeds. They are inseparable. Literally. Take one away, and they both whine and cry like they've been beaten. This, of course, creates cute and humorous moments.

Dawww...the cute version of spooning
The funny version of  spooning
Oma's Alzheimer's continues its inevitable march down the drain. While generally happy when she is riding in the car or watching TV with Opa, she has developed a stubborn and belligerent streak when asked/told to do something she does not want to do...which is pretty much anything other than ride in a car or watch TV. She has also rediscovered cursing; and, while not ideal, we are thankful she latched on to "Sh*t!" instead of the universal adjective.

Lastly, we were sad to learn this past week of the passing of a long term church acquaintance of ours. I have known/been acquainted with this family for over 20 years now, and my wife has known them even longer. The family is no one special in terms of wealth or fame. They are just good people. When The Queen was going through her mystery illness and I was stuck commuting between Dallas and Houston because of work, I would call the husband semi-regularly just to have someone to talk to on the long drive. They had six kids who are all grown now.  We found out a while back that the wife had been diagnosed with cancer; and, more recently, we found out that she was bedridden and on hospice care. We took a "day off" from work to drive out to their place to visit (they live a couple hours east of us), catch up and generally give encouragement in whatever way we could.

During our visit, the wife said something that really struck me as profound. She was talking about how her bedridden state has left her totally at the mercy of others for her care most of which falls to her husband. The thing that struck me was when she said this was not what she had in mind when they said their marriage vows. She said this was not what she wanted for her husband to have to care for her and clean her and watch her in that state.

That got me to thinking. Most people say their marriage vows without ever really thinking about what they are promising or giving even a moment's thought about what the future may hold. I know I didn't really comprehend it at the time either. Everyone focuses on the "to have and to hold" and forgets about the "in sickness and in health" or "for richer or for poorer" parts of the vows. She told us that she had to learn the hard way what those vows really meant. The Queen and I understood what she meant.

She passed away peacefully surrounded by her family. I know her husband would trade anything to have her back with him and healthy, but they fulfilled their marriage vows in every sense of the word. That's increasingly rare these days. I count myself blessed to have my Queen by my side as we continue fulfilling our vows.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Ticks! Huge, Bloated, Milk Sucking Ticks!!

As of this morning, the ticks puppies are two weeks old. Their eyes are open now, and I'm pretty sure they've doubled in size already. Hard to tell without taking a measuring stick to their wiggly butts. They eat like there is no tomorrow. They go to the vet for the first time in about 3 weeks. Depending on how long Momma Lucy Laverne puts up with them, they should be adoptable in another 5 or  6 weeks. My Sister...the Devil is inclined to adopt Lucy Laverne pending introductions between LL and their current dog, a 14 year old lab named Chewy. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, but I think he'll take a shower, shave and hair cut when he sees Lucy Laverne in all her glory. So far, 3 or 4 people have expressed interest in adopting pups. If you are so inclined and you are reasonably close to the North Texas area, drop a comment. We'll make arrangements. 

Bashfule in dream land.

Bashful in his favorite position. 

Sleepy passed out on Snow White. 

The Holstein Twins, Grumpy and Dopey, Doc, Bashful and Sleepy.

Look at those teeny little pink paws!!

One of the Holstein Twins snoring through a tongue snorkel.

M&M with Bashful??

Such a cute face.

Sneezy and Doc snoozing.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Puppies! PUPPies!! PUPPIES!!!

Down here at Daddy Hawk's Discount Doggie Emporium, we just had a mix up with our distributor. She thought we said "nine" when what we really said was "Nein! Nyet! Nada!". So, the factory just drop shipped 9 puppies during the night with no return address. So, now we have a whole mess of puppies that must go, Go, GO!!! That means we're going to have a clearance sale. Everything must go! No reasonable offer refused. Unreasonable offers considered. Get your dogs while their hot, Hot, HOT!!! (subject to about an 8 week delay for delivery).