And On The Seventh Day...

...She Rested.

And he, being a proud father, looked down upon her and smiled for she is everything good and right in the world.

The Everything Update

Dear Readers,

Much has transpired since last we spoke. Rather than try to string together time and sanity to do individual topic updates, I thought it would be more efficient to throw it all in a blender and see what oozes out of the mix.

WORK/BUSINESS

After an initial flurry of optimism generated by actual business coming in the door, my LLC has been conspicuously quiet for the last 3 months or so. Part of that is the seasonal nature of the business. Part is probably not enough solid business contacts to support a growing business. I’ve got a lot of people who say they want to send me business, but the grand total of those who have actually come through and sent me work can be counted on one hand.

So, in order to keep the family fed and the lights on, I took a temporary job about three months ago while continuing the “all options on the table” job search and business growth plan. The pay is not great, but it beats unemployment “benefits”. On the plus side, the company I am temping for has wanted to hire me since the third day I was in the office. Initially, I demurred since we were just getting to know each other, and I had other irons in the fire. Now, I’m just waiting for them to put a bona fide offer in writing. They didn’t choke when I threw out a salary requirements number. We shall see what, if anything, develops there. 

I fly out to FL in a few weeks for an in person interview with a company based there. I’d say it’s encouraging to have a company willing to pay for a flight, hotel and car rental to check my teeth, but I’ve been in that position before. There’s no guarantee that it will mean an offer. If there is an offer forthcoming, it will likely come down to the money (since a major relocation would be involved).

There are several other positions I am pursuing one of which is particularly interesting to me. It would be a work from home position which has a lot of appeal since we intend to homeschool the wonder midget.

Then there was the recruiter who called today about a position I interviewed for a few years ago that is open again. I suppose it’s too much to hope that that company will see the error of their ways and shower me in money.

I’m not giving up on the LLC. If the floodgates open on that front, I’ll be ecstatic. If not, I can’t afford to sit on my thumbs and not do anything.

M&M

M&M, the wonder midget and cutest not so little girl in the world, continues to grow, dazzle and amaze. She is on the downhill side of 5 and a half going on 25. She weighs in at a well-proportioned and lean 52 pounds and measures just a hair or two short of 4 feet tall. All we did was blink, and…BAM!!!...suddenly it’s getting difficult to hold her. I don’t turn down her frequent requests to be carried or held unless I absolutely have to since it won’t be long before it’s physically impossible for me to do so.

I predict she will be the first female drafted into the NBA (not WNBA) as a point guard where she will have a successful 10 year career before retiring to have kids and cure cancer or solve the world’s energy problems. When she is 50, she will be elected first empress of the world for life at which time she will ban all partisan politics and biased media reporting (transgressions of the imperial edict will be punishable by banishment to the surface of Mars where you can live out your partisan fantasies…if you can breathe).

Seriously though, her birthday falls in November which puts her in an awkward scholastic position. Were we to enroll her in public school, we would not be able to officially enroll her until fall of 2018. Then, it would be the choice of kindergarten or kindergarten. Since The Queen has been unofficially homeschooling her since she was old enough to speak coherently, M&M is already well passed pre-K and most kindergarten level school work. Heck, she already reads at a second grade level. So, the plan is to start homeschooling her this fall as an official first grader (I think) and adjust course work as necessary. We will take care of socialization through homeschool coops and play groups with kids of varying age groups. Once she is older, we will investigate having her attend extracurricular activities such as band and sports in the public school system depending on her interest.

Here lately, M&M has been demonstrating behavior well above her age level. She is a very serving and polite young lady who gets compliments everywhere she goes. When The Queen (or, more rarely, I) gets sick, she is right there to help take care of what needs to be done including fetching water, reading stories, hugs, etc. I’d take credit, but it’s all The Queen’s doing.

THE QUEEN

Poison ivy is a right evil bitch. It’s even worse when you are a highly sensitive red head that was unaware that the pesky vines you were pulling and cutting off the fence were, in fact, poison ivy. Two days and a couple of hot showers later, The Queen was covered head to toe in misery inducing rash. That was about 3 weeks ago. At its worst, the rash covered about 75 to 80 % of The Queen’s body. Her eyes almost swelled shut early on. Poor thing looked like she’d been beat up by Mike Tyson. Unfortunately, due to The Queen’s other health issues, she is unable to take the only known medical treatment which is either oral prednisone or intramuscular injection of same. We’ve tried pretty much everything that can be had over the counter. The rash has finally started receding. The worst areas remaining are her hands and forearms. I am hopeful that another week or two will see her right as rain.

In other news, we have a new mantra in the house: All Ivy is EVIL!

Avoidance and paying others to deal with any future ivy disposal needs will be the primary means of defense.

OTHER DRAMATIS PERSONAE UPDATES

OMA AND OPA

Here about two months ago, The Queen Mum (Oma) and her consort (Opa) relocated from the  outer realms to cohabitate with us here at Castle Erickson. The genesis of this move requires a little backstory.

Oma has been suffering with early onset Alzheimer’s for several years now. Her condition is not as bad as some we have known, but it does have its challenges. She recognizes us in the sense that she knows we belong there in the house, but she does not know our names or relation to her. We don’t think she remembers her own name, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. Her short term memory tops out at a couple of minutes. Overall, her health is excellent, and she is fully ambulatory and able to eat. She is, however, starting to lose her grasp on basic hygiene and other skills, and she has a bad habit of stashing food in odd places (only to be rediscovered once it is fully rotten). She is also exhibiting “Sundowner’s Syndrome” which means she gets very confused and active, almost manic, when the sun goes down. It’s apparently common with Alzheimer’s patients. Fortunately, so far, she has been a very gentle and benign patient with no major outbursts or aggressive tendencies. Hopefully that will continue. Given her overall health, we expect her to live another 20 years barring unforeseen illness.

Opa, Oma’s husband of 50+ years, had been caring for Oma on his own in addition to dealing with his own health issues for the last couple of years pretty much non-stop with the exception of our semi-regular weekend visits. Opa and Oma are within a few months of each other age wise; however, their physical conditions could not be more different. Opa’s warranty expired a long time ago, but his condition has been getting progressively worse in the last 5 years. Over the last 6 months or so, we had been noticing his energy levels declining to the point we were concerned. We are pretty sure he had a minor heart attack back in about March or so, but we could not convince him to see a doctor about it. So, that remains a guess. We finally prevailed upon him to come to our house “for a visit” with Oma to rest and let us give him a break from having to do it all for the both of them. So, in early June, they packed a week’s worth of clothes and came to our house.

As you would expect, a little love, genuine concern and regular meals goes a long way to keeping people happy, healthy and wise. Over the next couple of weeks, Opa’s desire to go home went from “maybe in a few days” to “maybe we’ll stay with you all a while longer” to “what do we need to do to move in?” We moved heaven and earth (in some cases, literally) and had their house cleaned out in short order (with lots of help from The Queen’s brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephews). There is a renter lined up to rent their house for the next 6 months following which the plan is to sell it. So, if you want a killer deal on a recently remodeled (professionally) manufactured home (double wide, 2 bed 2 bath) located in Granbury, TX, drop us a line. We’ll work out a deal. Land not included (since my brother in law owns the dirt).

MY SISTER…THE DEVIL

MS…TD is living somewhat of a parallel life to mine…albeit in mirror image. She, her esposo – The Jack of All Trades, and Niece I Do It, recently moved in with MS…TD’s father in law who is getting on up there in age as the saying goes. I, being the wonderful brother that I am, provided some assistance in the moving process. While it wasn’t the worst move I’ve ever been involved in, it was definitely in the running for a top 3 finish.

The winner and holder of the life time achievement award for bad moves was Number One Follower’s practice wife. There are two infamously memorable and epically bad moves with her fingerprints all over them. The first time was when we helped her move out of her apartment at midnight (which I found later was because she was skipping out on rent with no forwarding address)…the cockroaches were less than thrilled when we woke them up by lifting their couch (yes, THEIR couch…dozens of them). And let’s not mention the dryer lint caked on the laundry closet wall. I’m surprised the whole complex didn’t burn down. The second one will not be discussed…I’m pretty sure I came close to witnessing a murder that day (and I would have been only too glad to aid and abet the disposal of the body in the process).

But,  I digress.

In other news, MS…TD is now a genuine published author. If you are into sorta kinda romance/fantasy/smut novels, you can get your fill here , here and here. I am not currently an Amazon affiliate. So, I don’t make a dime off the referral, but MS…TD will be grateful for your support. I provided a decent amount of editing and beta reader input as well as some technical consulting on her debut novel. I was asked to beta read the second novel and got a chapter or two into it before I had other commitments get in the way. Not being a connoisseur of the genre, I can’t say if they are good, bad or ugly.

I will say that MS…TD utterly ignored my advice to change the name of her main character in her debut novel. Somewhere, I have a copy of the manuscript with the name changed to Horace. I like that only slightly better. Beau. She seriously named the lead male in a semi-romantic novel with fantasy elements…BEAU!!! Pardon me while I puke. In the most loving way possible for a human being to hurl, of course. Mephistopheles would have been better. Elmer Fudd would have been better. Sodom Wanna Gonorrhea would have been better. But, no…Beau it is. Shake my head.

MY FATHER

My father, who will henceforth be known as Reporter #6 (he had an actual, minor, credited role in Mississippi Burning), has also put his English degree to use and published a couple of novels. I’ve read a version of the first one. I have a pre-publication copy of the second one somewhere that I haven’t had a chance to read yet. Throw a few shekels at the old man if you’re of a mind to. He tells a decent story even if it’s hard to pin down a genre.

NIECE TWIG

Last fall, Twig decided to uproot and move to Georgia to continue her college education in nursing school. Apropos of nothing, her high school sweetheart, is also stationed at Fort Bragg as an Army Ranger in training. I suppose I will need to give him a blog name now that he is family.

Wait….what?

Yes, a regression is in order. Prior to Twig leaving on the midnight train to Georgia, our budding Army Ranger, henceforth to be known as Gearhead (for his true passion is cars), asked my brother in law, Jack of All Trades, for his blessing to take Twig’s hand in marriage. JOAT’s response was something along the lines of “not yet” which caused a bit of drama. Twig and Gearhead proceeded to make plans for a December wedding despite the drama. Unfortunately, the vagaries of Army life made definitive planning impossible at best. So, the young couple decided to “elope” and get married over Labor Day weekend. Their plan included a vaguely defined idea to hold a reception when time and schedules allowed. Now, for those of you who don’t remember your recent weather news, Labor Day Weekend and Georgia equals landfall for Tropical Storm Hermine. Twig and Gearhead were supposed to meet the chaplain at a Starbucks to get hitched. Well, the Starbucks closed so that the baristas could head for the hills. Not to be deterred, our young lovers got married in the cab of the chaplain’s pickup in the Starbucks parking lot while the storm raged around them.

They seem happy from what I’ve heard, and it’ll be a great story for the grandkids. Word is they plan to return to Texas when Gearhead departs the military sometime in 2019.

NIECE I DO IT

I Do It continues her edumication in the fine art of animation in which she hopes to make a career. She is a very talented artist, but I have no idea what the job prospects are for a college graduate with an art degree in animation.

THE MENAGERIE

Numbnutt, the ½ dog, and Taco, the wonder bunny, have been joined by Tinkle Splat The Wonder Cat (on the right) and Sunny (on the left whom I call Ginger Snap).

The Queen named the dog because, “He acts like a dork.” M&M named the rest of the menagerie. We weren’t entirely sure about Sunny’s gender when he first came here, but he seems to have overcome any lingering doubts about his gender by demonstrating said sexuality without concern for gender or species (much to Tinkle’s perpetual dismay).

Numbnutt is about to turn 12, and he’s slowing down a bit. We almost lost him last fall to an acute case of aggressive gastroenteritis. He recovered, but you can tell he is getting up there in age. He’s slowed down a bit, but he’s still a very loyal and sweet dog.

Taco is a recently widowered bunny after his paramour, Sky, departed for the great rabbit hole in the sky. So far, I have been successful in rejecting any attempts to play matchmaker for the poor, lonely and extremely virile bunny.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print for now. Further updates as events warrant.

Wisdom From M&M

And now for something a little different. Not completely different, mind you. Like a penguin on your telly. That would be copyright infringement.

The Queen posted this on her Facebook page today quoting our lovely, now, 5 year old wunderkind, M&M:

"When people stop hugging, they stop loving."

I tell you what, that little girl has a lot of wisdom in her little brain. She gets it from her mom, The Queen.

I've always been a touchy, feely kind of guy (not in the pervy sense), and I never pass up a good hug. Once upon a time, I believe I had just turned 16, my dad was dropping me off at the house following some event. He stuck his hand out to me to shake my hand instead of reaching to give me a hug like he had done for the previous 16 years. I looked at him like he had just grown a second set of nostrils on an extra pair of noses. His reasoning: he thought I wouldn't want to hug him now that I was old enough to drive.

I proceeded to disabuse him of that notion.

I plan on hugging that little girl every chance I get for as long as she will allow it. Somehow, I don't think she will ever decide that she doesn't need a hug from the old man.

Advice for M&M

It’s been a while since I’ve posted any advice for my daughter. It’s not that I’ve run out of advice. It’s just that my time to record such thoughts (among other ideas) has been at a severe premium. So, without further ado my wonderful daughter, here is some much needed advice in a tumultuous, post-election (or apocalyptic depending on your perspective) world.

FYI, a lot of these were shamelessly stolen/modified from The Big Guy’s “Moving On” post at Listen to Uncle Jay.

1)      Yoga pants are the fabric equivalent of body paint. A modest, Christian woman (such as The Queen and I are attempting to raise you to be) would not wear them in public. If you choose to ignore this advice, do not be surprised when men stare at your body.

2)      Communicate concisely and clearly. Lead with the issue or question. THEN give details. That gives your audience a foundation upon which to listen and process the information you are giving them.

3)      If you’re done with something, put it away. That way, you know where to find it, and it’s out of the way.

4)      If something is broken, label it, fix it or toss it.

5)      Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules. Once upon a time, an AVP at a major insurance company told me “I don’t care if it’s right, I just want it done.” I told him I was not willing to do that as I would be the first person deposed when things went south and the sum total of my testimony would be: “Mr. AVP instructed me to do X despite my warnings that it violated basic ethical considerations.”

6)      Leave early for the airport. It’s better to cool your heels at the gate sipping a drink than be stuck in a traffic jam watching your plane take off.

7)      Take time to enjoy your surroundings when you travel for business. The Queen used to tell me how lucky I was to have a job that involved regular travel. I told her how lucky I felt to see the inside of a hotel room and a conference room in a variety of glamourous locales like Beaumont, TX, Willmar, MN or Davenport, IA. That’s not to say I haven’t traveled to interesting places for business and haven’t taken advantage of coming in early or staying late to see some of the sights, but it is not always possible with work and life commitments.

8)      Travel light and make your luggage stand out of the crowd. Once upon a time, The Queen and I were on a train bound for London, England when the conductor informed us we had less than 5 minutes to move ourselves and our luggage forward 6 train cars unless we wanted to be stuck in the part of the train that was NOT going to London. The Queen does not know how to pack light; and, on this particular trip, I had packed heavy as well. We had two heavy suitcases, a couple of smaller bags and an odd shaped box containing a beautiful porcelain doll that we had to lug up the narrow aisles of the train as quickly as possible. We made it…barely.

9)      You are not superwoman. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

What's Important

In photos, not words.

M&Misms

I think every kid growing up goes through that stage before they really learn to "talk proper" during which they speak a language known only to them and those few who have been around them long enough to understand the contextual meaning of their utterances. M&M was and remains no different. At the tender age of 4 years old, she is very well spoken in comparison to others in her age group. Heck, she even puts some adults to shame. Even still, there are several M&Misms that I want to remember, and I thought I would take a moment to share them with you as well.

"Wazzat?" - This was one of M&M's earliest words. Spoken in a husky, almost whisper while pointing, this was M&M's way of asking what something was. Often repeatedly in the space of a few minutes. "Wazzat?" she would say. We would respond with whatever the object in line of sight was. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until one time, she pointed straight up into the night sky. "Wazzat?", she asked. "That's the moon, M&M." I told her. "Dat's da mOOOooon." She had just spoken one of her first complete sentences.

"Mo?" - First a question and later one of her many nicknames. During the "Wazzat?" phase around 1 year to 18 months, If she wanted more of something, she would ask, "Mo?". Soon, her Opa (that's German for "grandpa") took to calling her "Mo" and the nickname stuck.

"Watch Wall-E?" - The movie Wall-E was the first movie we allowed M&M to see. Roughly around the time she was 18 to 24 months. The Queen's Navigator has the rear entertainment system built in. So, when we would load her up, the first thing she would ask for in the car was "Watch Wall-E?" It didn't matter if we were making a cross country trek or just a 5 minute drive to the store. She didn't know the difference. Once we widened the viewing list a little, it was still "Watch Wall-E?" even if she really wanted to watch Finding Nemo.

"Juish?" Pronounced "joosh". Juice. Any kind of juish although it was usually apple juish. I was really annoyed when my father in law kept correcting M&M to the point that she started saying "joo-iss" instead. 

"Awwhite" This one is pretty common among kids, and I think it needs no explanation. If you can't figure it out, ask a parent. 

"Chickenlada" M&M's all time favorite food...chicken enchilada. 

"Huggles and Kissles" This one should be self explanatory. It's especially cute when she says she is out of huggles and kissles. 

"Can I listen to some music?" This one is a relatively recent addition having developed since she was about 3 and a half. The Queen has an iPad which M&M is already very adept at using. The Queen started out playing music videos to M&M off of YouTube and then progressed to finding soothing jazz compilation "videos" for M&M to listen to. Here recently, M&M figured out that she could watch cartoons on Netflix via the iPad; but, in her mind, it's still all music to her. So, if she wants to watch Masha & The Bear or Strawberry Shortcake, she asks to listen to music on the iPad.

"Gymnasties" Around June of last year, we enrolled M&M in gymnastics. That was a little hard for a 3 and a half old to say, and it came out as "gymnasties". It's hard to argue with a 3 and a half year old when it's so darn cute.

"I got this." M&M's older cousin became famous for a similar line "I do it." Same concept. If M&M thinks she can do something, she says, "I got this, mom/dad". 

"Ever God in Heaven" Being Christians, we obviously pray with M&M and have taught her to do so herself. My wife and I tend to start with some version of "Father in Heaven" or "Heavenly Father Great Creator God" or similar words to that effect. M&M always, without fail, starts her prayers out with "Ever God in Heaven." I have no idea where she came up with that, but neither The Queen nor I have any interest in correcting her on that. 

M&M 2.0 Brief Update

Fortunately, I did not have to discover whether I had a fool for a client by attempting to represent myself. At the 11TH hour, we were able to retain another attorney to step in and fill the shoes vacated by the previous attorney. The prior attorney had given me several recommendations; however, upon casual vetting, it was revealed that all of them suffered from one or more serious flaws which eliminated any interest I had in retaining them. I mean, really, who in their right mind retains an attorney who shows up at the court house drunk while carrying a handgun in a hollowed out book without a license to carry (not that he would have been allowed to carry the gun in with a license)?

Not me. I don't care how well politically connected he is (chairman [now former thanks to his arrest] of the local Democrat party in a predominately Democrat county), I don't want a drunk with a felony weapons charge pending against him representing me and mine.

So, short on time and options, I dug back into the memory banks for the names of two attorneys that we knew from M&M's case. The first was the attorney The Queen and I consulted regarding intervening in M&M's case. The other was the attorney that the court appointed as M&M's guardian ad litem.

The first attorney was not very encouraging. He said things like "that's impossible" referring to the short time frame (a day and a half) in which to draft and file the intervention. He was also not entirely sure he could make the hearing. So, I thanked him for his time and moved on to door number two.

M&M's former ad litem was much more enthusiastic. She had her staff jumping on drafting the intervention even before the retainer contract was signed. Her paralegal was also very resourceful. The attorney for the petitioners (the couple currently caretaking 2.0) was not willing to extend any professional courtesy and give up the address where the bio parents could be served with the intervention.

So, the paralegal looked up which process server the petitioner's attorney had used, made a quick call and confirmed that, yes indeedy, the process server remembered the case and the shack where the bios were currently staying. He was more than happy to make a second service fee with little effort. I gave her a high five for that one. That's the kind of out of the box thinking that wins wars right there.

Anywho, we showed up for the hearing earlier this week as scheduled in hopes of getting a favorable ruling. No such luck. Our attorneys did not have the required amount of time to do anything other than file the intervention. Setting a competing hearing on any affirmative action of our own would have required at least three business days which we did not have due to the New Year's holiday.

We were successful in blocking the petitioners' efforts to make the Temporary Restraining Order permanent. Their attorney attempted to have their TRO hearing heard in addition to requesting the court to strike our intervention. The court declined and required their attorney to choose either A) to move forward on her hearing with us involved, or B) continue the hearing to a later date to give her adequate time to file a formal motion to strike and prepare for a full hearing as the scheduled hearing was only set for a half hour. The opposing attorney did the only thing she could do and took the continuance. She will find out quickly that she has not basis for a motion to strike as our standing to intervene is black letter statutory law. So, she's stuck with us now.

Of note, the bio parents actually showed up for the hearing. They are unrepresented this go around because this is a private lawsuit since Texas DFPS declined to pursue any action on behalf of the state thus denying the bios access to court appointed attorneys. We heard through sources that they have set up a Gofundme account which has netted a grand total of $0 in contributions. There was a host excuses offered up by the male bio as to why they didn't have counsel, why they hadn't completed their drug testing yet, why they haven't completed their anger management classes yet, etc.

In another interesting twist, while waiting for the hearing to begin, we heard the bios talking with the petitioners' attorney and male bio's reporting of the events leading up to the termination of their parental rights in M&M's case was quite amusing. No concept of personal responsibility. No acceptance of any blame. No nada. We are evil because we stole M&M, etc. Our attorney says she can't wait to get him on the stand.

Next step is a full blown, it's on like Donkey Kong, hearing in about 2 months from now with testimony by the involved parties, DFPS and probably a few others. The hearing is slated for 4 hours, and I bet it runs long. We have filed a motion to strike the petitioners claims due to lack of standing to file. There will be a brief exchange of written discovery between the parties (which I fully expect the bios to ignore).

Then...who knows. I still feel pretty good about our chances given the law; however, the judge has pretty wide discretion in these cases to do what he feels is in the best interests of the child. The longer this drags out, the more likely it is that he will just rule that the status quo is best.

That will suck.

More to follow when I can.

Law of Unintended Consequences

Once again, I apologize for the conspicuous lack of content here of late. This year has been singularly stressful on all fronts, and my time and desire to sit at the keyboard and write anything has been greatly diminished. Even now, I sit in a seminar on bad faith listening to an attorney drone on about how big bad insurance companies get bent over a barrel in the heart of redneck country.

So, I figured I would use the time to do something productive like update my loyal readers (all 4 of you who are left) on the status of M&M's sister.

The short version is that the last 24 hours have been very stressful, and the prognosis is not encouraging.

So, what does that mean? Well, sit back and I will try to click out the long version. Bear with me.

Back before all this started, Texas' long sitting governor (gooberner) Rick Perry had delusions of grandeur and decided he should not seek reelection for yet another term leading the great state of Texas so that he could focus on running to be the Republican nominee for President of the United States (along with 30 something other hopefuls). Cheerleader Rick (he was an Aggie Yell Leader which is the Aggie version of a cheerleader) anointed then Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott as his chosen successor. Greg Abbott (who I have nothing against for the record) was duly elected in predictable red state fashion over the democrat nominee, Wendy Davis (who never had a snow balls chance in Hell's outhouse of winning), and took over the keys to the governor's mansion in January of this year.

One of the first things Governor Abbott did upon taking the reigns was to request a review of Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (Texas' version of child protective services) procedures and policies regarding removal of children from their homes. The idea was that DFPS was removing children from their homes too frequently for minor, easily correctable issues that didn't warrant removal and placement of children in foster care when a suitable "safety placement" was available.

So, the Parental Child Safety Placement process was hatched. The theory is that DFPS would recognize a danger to the child in the home that was serious enough that it was in the best interest of the child to be elsewhere to give the parent time to correct the dangerous condition (e.g. cleaning up the filth, throwing out the dead beat/drug dealing boyfriend, etc.) but which condition was not serious enough to pursue a formal removal into DFPS conservatorship and resulting foster care. The PCSP is intended to be a short term, temporary alternative (ideally less than 60 days) where the odds of the child returning home following correction of the dangerous condition are good and there is a suitable safety placement willing to be a voluntary caregiver under a formal, written agreement.

If you read the guidelines for the PCSP, it's quickly apparent that whoever wrote it didn't quite think through all the consequences and implications of the new policy and how it would gel with the existing policy framework or how it would be applied in practice. There is a huge, unstated, assumption that the voluntary caregiver will be a family member or someone with close, significant contacts with the family.

In practice, reality and the law of unintended consequences beats good intentions into submission every time.

So, what does this have to do with M&M 2.0's situation? She was born just in time for the new procedures to be put in place. Come to find out, DFPS quickly figured out that they could use the new process to intimidate parents in borderline cases into putting their children into safety placements which have NO COURT OVERSIGHT.

In a normal removal case, the DFPS files an emergency removal petition with the court to be granted conservatorship over the child so that the child can be placed in a licensed foster care home or the home of a responsible family member who can be granted temporary custody. In the case of a PCSP, the birth parent retains legal custody of the child but signs an agreement giving temporary care of the child to pretty much anyone they choose.

In M&M 2.0's case, the bios chose to give voluntary custody to someone they allegedly knew from church. Why I say allegedly will become apparent soon enough; however, there is no possibility that these people from church could have had close, significant contact with the family as the bios had only been back in Texas for less than a year at the time of 2.0's birth and the bios had continued their history and practice of couch surfing nomadic living arrangements with whichever friend or drug buddy was willing to put up with them for a while which included locations from all over the north Texas area.

Now, fast forward to yesterday. In November, we had been told that the bios had agreed to extend the safety placement for another 60 or 90 days to give them time to work their services plan (which, in typical bio fashion, they had not been working). We were prepared to wait around until January or February to find out what would happen next.

Then, the DFPS case worker called The Queen yesterday morning to inform us that the voluntary safety placement family was filing suit against the bios for child support (good luck finding blood in that turnip), legal custody (for which they are on shaky legal grounds at best to seek but apparently found someone to actually file the pleading) and a restraining order (me thinks the welcome mat has been withdrawn). The case worker wanted to know if we would be willing to allow visitation between the siblings apparently assuming that this development would go unchallenged by us.

Tee hee...that's so cute. Fertilizer...meet fan.

Come to find out, the safety placement family is not unlike us in that they are childless and incapable of having children of their own. Naturally, they have bonded with 2.0 and want to keep her. Unlike us, they are pursuing questionable legal tactics instead of having patience and faith. Interestingly, they are also claiming they do not know the bios which directly calls into question DFPS' handling of the PCSP which requires that the safety placement have close, significant contacts with the family.

Needless to say, we are not amused.

Cousin L has been informed of these developments, and she has been in contact with the bios. Female bio was reportedly clueless about these developments and does not want to lose her latest offspring but was open to the idea of pulling the voluntary placement from church family and moving 2.0 to our home. Male bio adamantly refuses to consider moving 2.0 to our house and is now threatening Cousin L with termination of all future contact unless Cousin L drops everything and comes to Texas to get 2.0 (you may recall that Cousin L lives in a western state some 1200 miles away).

Meanwhile, The Queen and I await a call back from an attorney recommended to us by our foster care/adoption agency to see what, if any legal recourse we have in this situation.

That's the news fit to print at the moment. Further updates as events warrant.

Still Kickin'

I realize that I have neglected my little corner of the intertubes for much longer than I would like. I would like to plead something exciting...like winning the lottery or traveling to Mars.

Yeah. No such luck there.

Equal parts too busy, too tired and too couldn't get my give a care jump started with a flux capacitor attached to a lightning rod.

Sorry about that. We all go honey badger on the world every once in a while.

It's not like you've missed out on anything important.

In no particular order, here is the quick and dirty rundown on life since last we spoke.

I've made it through the first three months of the new job. It seems like it has been much longer than that. By all accounts, they like me and think I know what I am doing. That's positive since the CEO just hired a new executive for the claims operations which has everyone on pins and needles waiting for the ax(es) to fall. I am reasonable sure that my position is safe, and the general consensus among those up the food chain is that most everyone director level and below will not be directly affected. The AVP and VP level, however, is enjoying a wonderful case of heart burn right now.

My bet is that our current VP has about 3 to 6 months left with the company. There are a few others who will experience the job description discussion from "Office Space", and I foresee at least one "Don't you understand? I'm a people person." meltdown.

Whatever. As long as the paycheck clears and the fertilizer to work ratio stays reasonably bearable, I'm good for now.

No news on M&M's sister. Last we heard, it was the same song, third verse. Knowing and loathing the system as we do, we're doing our best to tune out the anxiety and live life instead of waiting by the phone for a call that may never come.

M&M continues to grow like a weed. She turns four very soon, and she is above average in height and development. She speaks clearer with a greater vocabulary than several kids months older than her that we know. The Queen has been teaching her the ABCs, writing, etc. She's even starting to read a little bit. She's super strong and healthy. She had her first round of swimming lessons over the summer and took to it like a duck. We also enrolled her in gymnastics (or "gymnasties" as she calls it) which she REALLY enjoys. She loves horses and gets her first riding lesson on Friday.

So, basically, she's growing up, and The Queen and I are both proud and sad at the same time.

Now that things have calmed down somewhat on the job and home fronts, I'm trying to noodle up a side gig to earn a little extra money. I'd love to make custom knives or guns, but those take money, equipment and skills that I lack at the moment. Custom leather work or wood working may be an option. The Queen wants me to start a small business risk management consulting firm of some sort. I think there is an opportunity there, but it doesn't speak to me the way the other ideas do.

The 2016 presidential race is shaking out about like I expected. Hillary, despite everyone admitting that she violated Federal law which should land her in jail, looks to be teflon coated and the only game in town for the Democrats. The Republicans are doing their best to run a campaign based on "The Biggest Loser". Rick Perry dropped out early which, frankly, doesn't come as a surprise. He was a decent governor. Not great, but not dismal either. Scott Walker dropped out too which disappoints me a little. I get the Trump thing, but I really hope he decides he has better things to do and throws his support behind a more "legitimate" candidate. Ben Carson is polling well right now, but I'm not sure if he has the backing to be there at the end. I'd really like to see Ted Cruz doing better in the polls, but don't count him out yet.

Then there's Jeb. The media seems to have already decided he's "the guy". He's the safe candidate for the Republican establishment which means he's too moderate for my tastes. Putting him up against Hillary is going to see the Repub's chances of winning the election go down faster than torpedoes at Pearl Harbor.

Needless to say, my outlook for the future is not rosy right now.

So, in order to leave you on a positive note, here are some recent pictures of the Cutest Little Girl in the World.

This is the wallpaper on my office computer desk top right now. I had been waiting a long time to get a photo like this one, and it finally happened a few months ago.

She's so cute when she is being a "proper lady".

A few M&M and Daddy Hawk pics. I love my time with her.

Did I mention she LOVES horses. This horse's name is "Death Wish" (no, really, but he also goes by Killer). She sat up on him and rode him bareback like a boss (with Killer's owner and trainer close by).

I think the respective looks says it all. The kitten wants down NOW, and M&M is giving me the innocent "can I keep him" look.

That's all for now. I've got work to do.

New Baby Bleg Update

I thought I would take a moment to update everyone on the results of your efforts in response to my last post. I just got a call from The Queen advising me that Cousin L texted The Queen to let us know that the bio donors will NOT be allowed to take baby sister home after all. 

Apparently, female donor's psych meds are such that she is not fit to supervise herself much less an infant alone during the day. Male donor is allegedly only available to supervise during the evening. There are no other family members in the area, and the female bio's mom wouldn't qualify even if she came down from the northwest due to HER health issues. 

But wait...there's more. 

The Queen just called again. Cousin L (at our suggestion) called the CPS caseworker that handled M&M's case. Case worker reached out to the investigator and confirmed that Baby Sister WILL definitely be placed with Big Sister M&M IF she is taken from the bios by CPS.

And before I could even hit publish, I get a text from The Queen that baby is going to a member of the church the bios attend. Grrrrrr!!!!!

Stay tuned. Things are changing by the minute. 

Bleg: New Baby Edition

I know I have been remiss in updating the blog here lately. I have even acquired a new follower (the first in quite a while) who I need to properly welcome. The new job has kept me very busy as has getting settled into a new home. The last remaining bits of free time have been taken up with getting all the paperwork and assorted other tasks taken care of to get the Castle's Foster Parent License renewed.

Why would we even consider renewing our foster care license you might be asking? Didn't we forswear any further involvement in the foster care process after M&M's adoption? Why, yes. Yes, we did pinky promise and forswear any desire to involve ourselves further in the emotional self flagellation that is the foster to adopt process.

With one, small caveat.

Remember how I said we would consider getting involved if any only if it were for a full blood sibling to M&M?

Yeah...weeelllll....she was born today.

Alright, alright. I can hear the record scratching sound, see the puzzled looks and feel the mental equivalent of a "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?". Allow me to back up a moment.

Sometime in December, The Queen gets a text from male bio donor's cousin asking how we would feel about a sibling for M&M. The Queen answered that we thought it would be great if M&M had a sibling but weren't going to get involved in the foster process again unless it was a special situation. It was then that Cousin L (L is a good initial, sits in the middle of the alphabet, good solid base, stands on its own, no connection to cousin's first or last name) dropped the other shoe that female bio was pregnant again and L wanted us to be adopt if the opportunity arose. Due date was estimated in August.

I've kept it under my hat with the exception of immediate family and a couple of close friends. Mainly because there was no guarantee that the call would ever come. Female bio donor, as you may recall, has a history of miscarriages among her many other issues. There was also no guarantee that they would remain in the state (they came back to Texas late last year for reasons unknown).

Female bio's drug use was a concern. Early reports are that she stayed clean during this pregnancy which is a small blessing. We hear baby girl was born healthy despite being a few weeks early, and she apparently looks like M&M did when she was born. We have been told that CPS is aware of the birth and will be allowing the bios to take baby sister "home" under close monitoring. I say "home" because the bios are apparently homeless and living out of a cheap motel.

Given the bios colorful history, I suspect it will not be long before CPS decides this was a collosal mistake and removes baby girl from whatever disaster the bios decide to call shelter for the night.

And herein lies the bleg: I simply request prayers and good vibes for whatever is best for baby girl. I simply want her to have the protection and safety she needs to grow up happy and healthy. Obviously, I am biased about where and with whom that should take place. But, this isn't about me (or the bios for that matter). So, I request that you leave me, The Queen and the bios out of whatever prayers or good thoughts you choose to offer up. I would be content with a simple "God/Allah/Buddha/Mother Nature/By Grapthar's Hammer, not my will but thy will be done."

Thanks, and I will try to provide updates as I have information to share.

More Advise For M&M

1) Drink the good stuff....and learn to savor it.

I remember when I was in college my buddies would all chip in and buy a case or two of the cheapest rat urine beer they could find for a weekend of drinking. Keystone Light was their usual poison of choice as I recall. I was the oddball who brought a six pack of real beer (I was known to bring anything from Miller Genuine Draft to for real from Germany Oktoberfest beer) and still managed to go home with at least two bottles for later consumption.

2) [or corollary to 1) above] Whiskey should be old enough to drive....or at least old enough to reach the pedals.

Anything younger than 12 years should really come with a chaperon in the form of a mixer of some flavor. 12 to 15 years old can be allowed some latitude but should generally require a curfew that ends at the same time happy hour does. Anything older than 15 should be savored without anymore distraction than maybe a large ice cube.

3) Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty.

Hard work never hurt noboby, and you wash.

4) "You are not what you think you are. What you think, you are."

I heard this in a sermon recently, and it's true.

5) Make plans to do stuff. It's important to have things to look forward to.

It doesn't have to be elaborate. It doesn't have to be expensive. It can be anything as long as it is something.

6) Every safety rule is written in blood.

Corollary - Behind every warning label is an idiot with a lawsuit.

Go read the Darwin Awards if you need proof.

Cuteness

They Come In Peace...

...but dang those probes are cold.

That's about as good an explanation as any for the last month or so since my last post. Let me hit the highlights of the goings on, and then I will figure out what to do with this post.

Went to Florida, interviewed, returned home safely. Found out two days ago, not selected. The Queen was not pleased. She was looking forward to living near a beach.

A happy Queen and Princess enjoying some "chockit" ice cream near the beach.

Winter decided to dump a last minute winter storm on north Texas. You folks up north can scoff, but snow and ice shut DFW down hard because ice goes in your tea, not on your roads. Any global warming/climate change nuts in the audience can take your thinly veiled leftist, propaganda and stuff it. Be sure you fold it into sharp little corners for an origami suppository first.

That storm screwed up my other job interview. We were able to squeeze it in between ice storms. Found out yesterday, not selected. That was a bummer because it was a really good opportunity.

Got a call Monday from an HR person that I had written off after they had failed to respond to several phone calls and emails over several weeks regarding next steps letting me know I was still on the list of candidates they want to move forward with, but they have put the position on hold because of some other stuff. We shall see. At this point, my track record may see me still on the market when they get their act in gear.

For those that are interested, the job search enters its eighth month today. The stats so far are:

91 jobs applied for
8 in person final interviews so far
75 rejections (formal and informal)
16 applications still in limbo

Welcome to the new economy. That's hope and change you can believe in right there. To be fair, some of those applications were a bit of a stretch; but, you don't know if you don't try. And, based on the limited feedback I've gotten, companies are reluctant to make an offer to me based on my prior earning history. It's nearly impossible to hide that the way online applications are structured these days.

Castle Erickson has been besotted by various plagues. All three of us at once. I have to suck it up and go to work because we can't afford for me to miss anymore time after the time missed interviewing and waiting out the ice storm office closings. Being a temp on an hourly rate contract sucks sometimes.

Learned today that my favorite author passed away which leaves me in a deeper funk than I was already in to begin with. Sir Terry Pratchett is a British author I have spoken about here before. He has been dealing with the effects of Alzheimers for the last several years. His Disc World series is an absolute gem. If you haven't read it, I can give you suggestions. But, as another, more eloquent blogger said, "The worst was good, and the best was magic."

Farewell, good sir. I'm sure DEATH and Binky gave you a clean exit from this mortal coil and a smooth journey.

Advise For M&M: Special Edition

I was at lunch today reading The Book of Barley by L.B. Johnson and came across a quote I wanted to share and expound upon a little.

"In looking back, I realize that, for them, being a parent was something the learned by trial and error; that mistakes were made and forgiven, even as my own were. They were two imperfect and flawed human beings whose actions were recognition and protection of that brave bargain that is parenthood." - L.B. Johnson (if you don't already know who she is [and you really should], ask me via email)

Once upon a time, I heard it said that parenting is the only profession left up entirely to amateurs. There is no class that can adequately prepare you for parenthood. The reality of getting up at 2:00 AM to feed a baby or change the sheets that were just violated unspeakably has to be experienced. The responsibility to care for, protect, guide and educate an innocent, clean slate of a human being weighs heavily on the shoulders, but it is not a burden to suffered. Rather, it is a forge that strengthens you and tempers you and the results can be as rough or refined as the effort you put into it.

Children are a blessing. Treat them as such and cherish every moment with them.

Some Thoughts for M&M's Future Suitors

Though I am loathe to admit it, one day, in the not too distant future (the further the better), my little M&M will look upon a boy with a gleam in her eye and captivate the poor, unsuspecting youth thereby earning a level of scrutiny usually only reserved for sub atomic particles and IRS audits. Dear lad, here are some things for you to think about as you enjoy the relaxing sounds of latex gloves being pulled on and shotgun shells being chambered.

1) Don't run...you'll only die tired.

While this has been the motto of the United States Marine Corps Snipers, there is much truth here for you to consider. Note, the slowest bullet I shoot flys at a leisurely (and subsonic) 850ish feet per second.

You don't.

2) No smoking...unless you enjoy being on fire.

3) Old age and treachery trumps youth and ability.

I was your age once. I know what you're thinking. I know what you're going to do before you do it. You, however, lack the breadth of my experience. You have no idea what I am capable of. By the way...your shoe laces are untied.

4) Life isn't fair...neither am I.

You are assumed to be on notice of the rules and expectations. If you are unclear on what those rules or expectations are, you'd best ask questions ahead of time.

5) Freedom of choice exists...freedom from consequences does not.

Go ahead...try and violate the law of gravity. See how that works out for you. Same concept applies with me and my daughter.

Have a nice day.

More Advice for M&M

1) "Never mistake activity for achievement." - John Wooden, former head coach of the UCLA basketball team.

One of these days, I need to get around to telling the story of Number 1 Follower and I getting his 4x4 Dodge Power Ram stuck in the mud...twice...in the same spot...on the same day. It was truly epic face palm material. The bottomline is that a lot of people spend a lot of their time doing busy work or spinning their wheels and getting exactly nothing done.

2) "If I were persecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me." - John Wooden

It's easy to say you are a believer in anything, but the reality of living by those beliefs is another matter entirely.

3) "If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don't ask which seat. You just get on." - Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google.

There will come a time when you are offered an opportunity so fantastic that you just need to say thank you, shut up, sit down and hang on for the ride no matter how long or short that ride is.

4) A college degree doesn't make you smart, and a lack of one doesn't make you uneducated. - Daddy Hawk

I've been around more than my fair share of supposedly educated people (with college degrees and advanced degrees in some cases) who exhibited a complete lack of intelligence such to cause one to wonder whether they, in fact, had black mail photos on someone in the registrar's office. By contrast, some of the smartest and most talented people I've ever known never finished grade school much less college.

5) "When everyone is super, then no one will be." - Syndrome - The Incredibles

I would much rather you try your hardest and come home with a third place trophy (or last place ribbon for that matter) than for you and everyone else to be told you are all winners and receive the same reward just for showing up.

Cuteness Overload

The job search is downright depressing (43 applications and not a single interview in front of a hiring manager). Would it kill HR people to actually answer their phones and respond to voicemails? So, instead of wallowing in self pity, I thought I would overwhelm everyone with recent pictures of The Cutest Little Girl in the World (TM).

She's a great little girl and a wonderful blessing.

Gun Blogger Family Loses a Child

Brigid at Home on the Range sent email yesterday asking to spread the word. Brigid's email is copied below:

"The loss was expected given the deformity found in vitro but they insisted on carrying to term to give her even a little love here on earth.

Peter Grant ways it better than I. His link (with links) is below. Spread the news if you can.

http://bayourenaissanceman.blogspot.com/2014/09/a-tragedy-death-and-plea-for-help.html"

I have to give the family a lot of credit for having the courage to see the pregnancy through. That had to be a tough decision. One that I can't fathom. My thoughts and prayers are with them. Follow the links and do what you can even if it's just a moment of silence in remembrance. 

This Resonated With Me

I very rarely link to other stuff, but I spotted this today and thought it was worthy.

It's an article on Slate about a freelance cartoonist that illustrated a quote from Calvin & Hobbes creator Bill Watterson in the style of Calvin & Hobbes.

Enjoy.