Saturday Silliness

The meme well has been pretty dry of late as I have been preoccupied with earning a living, taking care of my cousin's animals, doing some other things that I am just about ready to report on, and generally trying to conduct basic self care and feeding type activities. Enjoy what I've got to give this  round. Will keep a look out for more high quality humor. 

I prefer to strive for precision AND accuracy.

As long as there is a pot of chips next to the dip.

I know  this is an AI generated image, but I really want it to be real.

If there was ever a perfect cross over tie in between very different genres, this is is.

I'm going to install one of these in a beer fridge as soon as possible. Anyone complaining can die of thirst.

I sent this one to our recently re-ordained (long story...kinda boring) local minister, he didn't find it as funny as I did.

When I was in high school, the Army, Navy and Air Force all refused to believe I had never tried drugs. The Marines were the only ones who listened to me, believed me and were straight with me.

I want one of these in .45 Colt with a .45 ACP cylinder.

Smith & Wesson 325 Nightguard. I really wish they would bring these back.

 

Gun Lust

 As many of you regular followers are aware, I am a fan of fine firearms. My tastes generally run towards blued steel and wood stocks, but I'm not opposed to other materials. If it goes bang and doesn't say Highpoint on the side, I'm probably interested. I also appreciate a custom firearm as much as the next person; however, one person's "chef's kiss" is another person's "dog's breakfast". 

One custom touch that leaves me very hit or miss is engraving. Done right, engraving turns a nice gun into a masterpiece work of art. Done wrong, and....well, I suppose you can grind it off and refinish the gun. 

So, it is unusual for me to come across a custom, engraved firearm that makes me stop and drool. Such, is the case of the examples below. Our first object of desire is a not so humble Ruger SP101 3 inch .357 Magnum. This example was spotted recently in the Defensive Revolvers group on the Book of Feces. The owner called it his tuxedo gun, and there was a bit of a debate in the comments as to whether it qualified as a Texas BBQ Gun. As a lifelong Texan, I would have no qualms about carrying this Ruger to a BBQ. 

Our second contestant is an example of work completed by JMN Engraving (also found via the Book of Farces). This is the slide off of a Viking themed 1911. My Swedish ancestry is complaining loudly that I need one of these. 

Sigh...now I have to go figure out how to tell The Queen I need to spend several thousand dollars on guns and engraving. Y'all take care.

Cool Stuff

 

I'm a sucker for neat stuff just like any other man trying to reason with his inner child. I'm not sure who did this or where I found it, but I like it. The only way to make this better would be to add a chin turret in the nose. 

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword...

...unless it's a .50 BMG Pen.

In which case, the .50 BMG Pen has an effective range in excess of 2600 yards. This was a recent gift from Mimi. I just have to remember to keep it out of my carry on bags when traveling. I'm pretty sure TSA would not allow this pen on a plane.

I'd Be Pissed Too...

So, a few nights ago, The Queen and I went out for a lovely evening stroll as we are want to do from time to time. Theoretically, the intent of the walk was to get some exercise and enjoy the evening. We wound up strolling to a little hole in the wall tiki bar that opened up near the house tucked away in an industrial area where you'd never guess there was a bar much less a tiki bar.

We perused the drink menu of island themed alcoholic mixed drinks and made our choices. The Queen ordered something called the Headhunter which was advertised as " Dark rum, cinnamon and banana liqueurs, blended until frozen.

The drink arrived at our table decked out thusly:

Now, I'm not one to be impressed by presentation, but this got my attention. I love the look on the poor buggers face. I'd be pissed too if I had to wear a dolphin hat made out of a banana.

The Queen reported that the drink did not measure up to her expectations passing the palette with very little in the way of flavor. Disappointing. We agreed that we would stick to rum and coke there in the future.

Friday Funnies

And they will be from New York. Too borrow a line from the old Pace Picante commercials...get a rope.

Yes, but you might not want it back after testing.

Or, in my case, BOURBON

Want?? Hell, this is a matter of NEED!!

Where's the explading ajar Jar Jar?

Interestingly, the same applies to Fruit Loops.

You'll have to click to embiggenate. 

That Went Well

I had my first ever on demand digital interview this morning. It was weird, but it went surprisingly smooth.

Basically, the concept is that a prospective employer wants to get you in front of a wider variety of people for consideration. So, they send you a link to a website where you can complete the interview at your convenience (6:00 AM in my case). They supply the questions,  and you get 30 seconds per question to prepare followed by 3 minutes per question to wax eloquent to your webcam.

They give you a practice question to warm up to which I thought I sounded like a bumbling moron which is being unfair to bumbling morons. They also give you helpful suggestions like dress professionally like you would for an in person interview,  look at the camera and not the screen, avoid filler words, etc.

It felt like I spent the entire time looking at the screen saying "uh, um, you know". A recruiter called me this afternoon with a follow up question and said I did really well. Her comment was that I sounded smooth as silk. I'll take that.

Next step is a phone interview with the hiring manager next week sometime which will make three interviews on the books for next week.

Wish me luck. Prayers and good vibes appreciated.

Let It Rain

After what seems an eternity of drought on the job search front, it seems that the heavens have opened up and the latter rains have arrived. So far, I've applied for over 60 positions since I was laid off in mid August. Most of those barely garnered a "thanks but no thanks" email. A precious few of those resulted in screening interviews, and one of those lead to an in person interview with a hiring manager which, unfortunately, didn't pan out because of salary range issues.

Thankfully, it appears that patience, diligence and persistence are paying off in the form of some real interviews in front of real live people as I had a second interview for one position and a first interview for another this week. I have two second interviews scheduled for next week. A connection I met in law school called me to see if I would be interested in a position, and he has forwarded my resume to the appropriate person from whom I am awaiting a call.

Then, today, I got the most interesting one yet. A request for a "digital interview". Apparently, I will log into a website, click a button and answer a standard set of questions via webcam.

That's a new twist.

Hopefully, one of these opportunities will turn into a job offer and not turn back into mice at midnight. One can hope.

I'll keep y'all updated as events warrant and time permits.

Silliness

A gift from number one follower and all around best bud. He knows me too well. I don't care if 9mm is cheaper than or just as effective as .45ACP. I like .45s because I like making bigger holes in things.

The Queen spotted this at the local Walmart the other day. Yes, it is exactly what it says it is. Yes, it's juvenile and immature. I must have it.

This Resonated With Me

I very rarely link to other stuff, but I spotted this today and thought it was worthy.

It's an article on Slate about a freelance cartoonist that illustrated a quote from Calvin & Hobbes creator Bill Watterson in the style of Calvin & Hobbes.

Enjoy.

On This Episode of Cops...

..., do stupid things and win stupid prizes.

So, yesterday, I was on my way home from work minding my own business cruising along I-20 westbound between I-45 and I-35 in south Dallas. I was in the second lane from the right with the cruise control set at the speed limit plus or minus a skosh. Traffic was surprisingly light for the middle of rush hour with the nearest vehicle being a pickup in the far right lane about five car lengths back. Then, I heard the telltale sound of a crotch rocket in high revs. I was expecting him to come up on my left as those lanes were clear; however, he blows by at about 80 miles an hour on the right shoulder.

I thought to myself, "Self, that's odd."

I couldn't tell what make or model bike it was. It was all white with at least a 750cc engine (at a minimum based on the size and sound). The brain child in the saddle was wearing white shorts, dark athletic shoes, a t-shirt, backpack and matte black full face shield helmet with the goofy Mohawk ridge along the top.

The reason these details caught my attention was that the rider had gotten off the throttle as he passed me and was looking back over his shoulder in my direction making me think he was giving me the stink eye for some reason. I was contemplating what I might have done to offend him when things began to become clearer.

As we passed a highway on ramp, a Dallas County Sheriff's Deputy cruiser came charging onto the highway with lights flashing making a beeline for Mr. Motorcycle.

My first reaction was, "Awesome!! Nail his butt." Because, really, how many times has some idiot on a crotch rocket blown passed you at warp nine when there was no popo anywhere to be seen?

Then, the second DCSO cruiser flew passed on my left lights a blazin'. That was the moment that you just KNEW it was on like Donkey Kong. Just after I saw the second cruiser, I looked back to the scene ahead just in time to see Mr. Organ Donor depart from the I-35E southbound exit ramp for the supposedly greener pastures of the grassy median between shoulder and frontage road.

Big mistake. HUGE!.

The first cruiser was hot on Mr. Mensa's tail like white on rice. That's when the dust really started flying. I didn't have a clear view, but I am pretty sure that Mr. Offroad on Slick Tires gave the crotch rocket a little too much go juice resulting, predictably, in the travels of bike and rider becoming separated in what hopefully an epic Wile E. Coyote moment. I say this because there was some tumbling visible through the cloud of dirt and grass flying in the air, and when I finally passed by a few seconds later the bike was in several more pieces than one would expect for a gentle laying down amongst the hillside meadow.

Anyfelon, by this time Mr. Carl Lewis Wannabe was trying to beat the Olympic sprint record in all events at the same time while Deputy #1 had already bailed out of his cruiser and was closing ground fast like there was donuts and bacon in the rabbit's backpack.

Unfortunately, I did not get to see the end of the foot race as I was still driving along my merry way and my view was soon blocked by the traffic on the exit ramp, the ramp itself and the whole scene disappearing in the rear view. My money is on the deputy.

Total elapsed time from "what was that?" to out of sight, out of mind was less than a minute...maybe 30 seconds.

Kinda Cool...Things You Don't See Everyday

The building where my office is located is undergoing renovation (just in time for our company to move offices in September). For the last week or two, they have been working on the roof which has required the use of a crane to lift materials (it's a 19 story building). It's been fascinating to watch (at least to me). So, I thought I would share some pictures.

A view from the parking garage. This is identical to the crane used in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.

I had no idea that the boom on these things extended that far up...

.... No. THAT far up.

A view from the 16TH floor. Ignore the reflections of the Hershey's chocolates. They are but ghosts of things that no longer exist.



That boom was swaying in the breeze. Watching it move from this perspective is dizzying. It looks like it's going to topple over any minute.

This was the best shot I could get of the top of the boom going over the edge of the roof. I think it's safe to say it was near the limit of it's reach.