As the title suggests, The Queen Mum, Oma, passed away peacefully in her sleep early Sunday morning sometime between 3:30 AM and 9:00AM. She was 77.
Friday night had been a difficult night for her. Fortunately, hospice had sent over Sir Morphine and his squire Lorazepam to help Oma's pain and anxiety. I spent a sleepless night tweaking the dosages from the recommended starting point suggested by hospice until finding the right combination that made her comfortable.
After finally getting to sleep at about 6:30AM Saturday morning, I had no intentions of getting out of bed unless there was a winning lottery ticket or Ed McMahon involved (you younger kids will have to look up the Ed McMahon reference to understand why that's amusing to me). At roughly 1:30PM, there was a banging on the door. The Queen hinted that I should be a dear and find out who was rudely disturbing our slumber on a Saturday afternoon.
I stumbled through the house bleary eyed with my hair sticking out in all directions. I peered through the peep hole in the door to see the blurry shape of a vaguely male figure in a white shirt and tie. Since I had left my glasses on my nightstand, that was as good as it was going to get ID wise without opening the door. I took a risk that I wasn't about to get preached too before having been caffeinated and, hoping Ed had finally brought that huge check from Publisher's Clearing House, unlocked the door. I figured the risk of a well dressed home invasion was pretty slim.
Turns out it was a long time friend of my wife's family and his daughters coming to visit Oma at my brother-in-law's suggestion. So much for sleeping in. I woke up The Queen. Opa was in the bathroom taking care of his necessary business which takes a fair bit of time as he has to catheter and generally ends with him walking through the house butt naked back to his bedroom. Rather than scar non-family members for life, I gave him a heads up that we had guests and brought him his clothes so that he could exit the powder room somewhat decently attired.
The rest of the day Saturday was spent entertaining as my brother-in-law, his wife and my niece arrived around 3:00 and were later joined by another family friend. Oma had a pretty good day overall with the help of The Queen and Sir Morphine. The Queen had nice music playing in her room, a breeze was blowing in throw the window, and she was surrounded by people who loved her. In hindsight, it is pretty apparent that she slipped into her final coma sometime during the afternoon/evening.
I went to bed around 3:30AM Sunday morning after a final check in on Oma at which time she was still breathing. The Queen and I chatted for a bit about how much longer this would go on. I told The Queen I felt the end was very close. She asked me what made me say that to which I replied it was just a feeling based on what the nurses had said and watching Oma over the last several days. I had no idea how right I was. The Queen tried to sleep but reports tossing and turning with no real sleep. She checked Oma a few more times also finding her still breathing. Eventually, The Queen was able to fall asleep shortly before sun up.
It was 9:08AM Sunday morning when Opa woke us up completely distraught saying that Oma was dead. The Queen and I jumped up and went to their bedroom. Sure enough, Oma was gone. I called Hospice, and the on call nurse arrived within 45 minutes to take care of the final details of pronouncing her death, calling the funeral home, arranging pick up of the medical equiment, etc. The funeral home arrived within an hour of being called taking Oma for her final car ride.
So, the grieving process has begun. The Queen is handling things much better than I expected. Opa is handling things much harder than I expected. I suppose that is understandable as he didn't exit denial mode regarding her condition until about 2 weeks before Oma died. It remains to be seen whether he can come to terms with his life without Oma or if he will give up and follow her.
That is all for now. I will share some more details about the woman who was Oma in another post.
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| Oma - December 1942 to March 2020 |
