Friday, January 27, 2017

First Assignment and You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Well, the new business is off the a decent start considering I've only been operational for less than two weeks. Yesterday, I got good news that I was being added to the vendor list for a former employer who, oddly, has lots of claims in Texas but no staff to speak of in the state. Then, today, I received my first assignment from a law firm in Houston to do some accident scene investigation work in the Dallas Fort Worth area. So, YAY ME!!!

Happy dance will ensue when the invoice is paid and the check clears the bank. 

In other news of the weird and unusual, we have this bit of news

I wish I could have seen that claim file because I am betting the statements of the renters are priceless. The thing I cannot understand is why it took the respective carriers so long to come to a resolution. 


Friday Funnies










Thursday, January 19, 2017

New Venture

Well, it's been an interesting week so far.

It started off a week ago today. Mid afternoon, I get a meeting invite from the boss' boss entitled "Discussion". Just me and him. Set for 9:00 AM Friday. Location: the HR conference room. Insert ominous music here. Whichever one floats your boat. The JAWS theme works for me.

I accepted the invite (like I had much of a choice) and went in search of the boss. I asked the boss lady if she has any clue what the meeting is about. She professed blissful ignorance of any meeting or the reasons for same. In hindsight, I think she should be nominated for an acting award, because there is no way she could not have known what was coming next. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I start to freak out a little. I've seen this movie before, and it doesn't end well for our hero.

I corner the boss lady's boss at the end the day and innocently inquire if, perhaps, I should prepare anything for our morning meeting and if he might share the topic of said meeting. He somewhat mournfully declined to offer any clues.

Now, our hero, yours truly, has been hard at work, flogging the other wage slaves to achieve impossible results. How impossible you ask? The year 2015 ended with our hard working claims adjusters blowing the legal expense budget by a significant percentage (13% if memory serves me correctly which translates into 6 figures worth of excess money flying out the door). Hard questions were asked. I analyzed the data, explained the facts of life in the heartless world of litigation and pleaded for a larger budget for 2016. My efforts were rewarded with small DECREASE in budget.

You have got to be kidding me.

To make matters worse, we get all new senior management a month into the year. Everyone is immediately on the alert as heads start rolling. Interestingly, senior management ignores my area for about 9 months. That's 9 months without any real direction or leadership from on high about what's expected. The only direction I was given was: 1) be in the files, 2) focus on early resolution, and 3) keep a close eye on the legal budget. The self same legal budget that had been cut from 2015.

Okay, let me just pull out my Mister Wizard instant miracle hat.

Through some magical confluence of of coincidences, my team manages to bring in legal expense under budget by 2.5%. That's a 15% improvement over 2015. Hip, hip, hurray. The crowd goes wild. Cheering was heard. There might have even been confetti.

Sorry. I have digressed. So, I spend all Thursday night trying to figure out why I must report to the HR conference room Friday morning. I haven't made any advances to anyone at the office (for The Queen is a jealous Queen, and I like skin attached to my body). I don't tell dirty jokes at the office. I don't do anything to run afoul of company rules and regs. Performance numbers look good. That leaves only a couple of possibilities.

Any puzzlement, I roll into the HR conference room at 9:00 AM to find boss lady's boss in the room with the home office HR person on video conference. The first words out of my mouth are: "This can't be good."

Sure enough, the net result is: "position eliminated". Nothing to do with performance, thank you for your efforts, strictly an organizational realignment, here's what we plan to do for you for severance, blah, blah, meaningless blah.

Long time readers will recall this has happened before. No, it's not any easier the second time around. I will say I am handling it better this time though. I made it to the car before I started having my own private meltdown.

That lasted for about 2 hours. During that time, I got the shock and hurt out of my system. I tried hard listen to what God was telling me. It was then that I came to the realization that the time had come to move forward with the plans that The Queen and I had been discussing for about 6 months.

Ever since we went to The Bahamas last year, we've been talking about what we can do to achieve a little more freedom to raise M&M together instead of me always having to disappear for 10+ hours a day to a commute and office. There are things we want to do together as a family, and 3 weeks of paid time off a year don't always cut it. Answer: start my own home based business.

So, effective today, I have an LLC registered with the state, a EIN with the IRS, a website, and I'm developing marketing materials and other essentials. Those of you who know me in real life will have seen the announcement on my personal FaceBook page. Details are unimportant as far as this post is concerned. Basically, it's me providing specific services relating to litigated claims. In the interest of professionalism, I won't be using this blog to plug the new business.

I already have a helper too.


He can't type worth a flip, and he generally just hangs around, sleeps, eats and leaves messes for me to clean up. But, he works cheap and keeps my neck warm.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Wisdom From M&M

And now for something a little different. Not completely different, mind you. Like a penguin on your telly. That would be copyright infringement.

The Queen posted this on her Facebook page today quoting our lovely, now, 5 year old wunderkind, M&M:

"When people stop hugging, they stop loving."

I tell you what, that little girl has a lot of wisdom in her little brain. She gets it from her mom, The Queen.

I've always been a touchy, feely kind of guy (not in the pervy sense), and I never pass up a good hug. Once upon a time, I believe I had just turned 16, my dad was dropping me off at the house following some event. He stuck his hand out to me to shake my hand instead of reaching to give me a hug like he had done for the previous 16 years. I looked at him like he had just grown a second set of nostrils on an extra pair of noses. His reasoning: he thought I wouldn't want to hug him now that I was old enough to drive.

I proceeded to disabuse him of that notion.

I plan on hugging that little girl every chance I get for as long as she will allow it. Somehow, I don't think she will ever decide that she doesn't need a hug from the old man.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Kitten Fight

So, this happened recently.


His name is tentatively Tinkle Splat (don't ask me, I have no idea). The list of rejected names continues to grow, and includes some sidesplitting gems including F**k Muck which resulted from a word rhyming exchange between The Queen and M&M. Having to explain to an innocent 5 year old that, yes, the universal adjective is a bad word and, no, I am not going to explain why while laughing hysterically does nothing to enhance your parental credibility.

Friday Funnies


We deal with a lot of dog bite claims where I work. I made this meme to add a little humor to the end of a regular roundtable meeting agenda.


I'm thinking someone failed their driving test.


Which is why I spend a small portion of my days thinking up dog bite memes for work.


I wonder if this would work with Golden Retrievers...only you sell the stuff they bring back.


Yep. I demand guns. Lots and lots of guns. Have you seen my wish list lately? Speaking of which, i need to update it again.



Han shot first.


Load me up, light the fuse and run baby.