Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Adventures in Modern Medicine


No. This is not a post about Obamacare. I just downloaded all 193 pages of Chief Justice Roberts’ opinion today, and I haven’t had a chance to read it yet. I may choose to ignore that topic entirely or just line the cat box with it. I haven’t decided yet.

So, what is this post about? Well, for starters, I’ve seen the inside of a hospital twice in the past 48 hours. Why, you ask? That’s kinda why I’m writing isn’t it?

First up, we spent a glorious eight hours at the hospital on Monday for Mini Me’s scheduled oral surgery. We were originally supposed to be at the hospital at 8:30 AM. After The Queen’s last minute headaches getting Mini Me’s Medicaid coverage sorted out at the end of the week last week, we were told to have him there at 10:30 AM with no solid foods after 12:00 midnight the night before and no liquids after 8:30 AM the morning of. We arrived at the hospital on time…only to be told we weren’t supposed to be there until 12:30 PM.

???? Blink, Blink. What the…?

Who in their right mind schedules a general anesthesia surgery requiring fasting for a four year old at 12:30 in the afternoon?

Anywho. Mini Me’s real parents were there to help which was great. Mini Me spent most of the time before he was called back for pre-op playing Duck, Duck, Goose and other games with Mom and Step Dad. He never once complained about being hungry or thirsty. He never got scared about the surgery itself. He did start crying when he was called for pre-op, but that was only because he had to stop playing with mom.

Allow me a short aside here: Liquid Versed is THE bomb. Seriously. There is nothing better for calming a child that is stressed out. Inside of 30 minutes, Mini Me was more glazed over than a jelly donut.

Anydrugs…the final damage was pretty steep for a little guy to go through. All 20 baby teeth had to have work done on them. Nine were extracted (seven on top, three on bottom). One of the remaining top teeth had a crown placed. The remaining ten teeth all had fillings. The good news was that there was no active infection at the time of the surgery. So, no anti-biotics to take. His permanent teeth should start coming in within the next year; however, it will be about six years before he has all his teeth again.

The moral of the story is: Parents should not give carbonated sodas and lots of sugary snacks to kids on a daily basis. Think about it. Coke is recommended by mechanics for removing corrosion from car battery terminals and is also known to destroy the concrete in the warehouses where it is stored. What do you think it is doing to your teeth?

On another note, the drugs had an interesting side effect. Mini Me has started calling The Queen “mommy”. He also called me “daddy” for the first time yesterday (Tuesday). I almost did a double take when he said it as I wasn’t completely sure I heard him right. The Queen and I both agreed that hearing that for the first time was a little weird. Those words seem to come with a lot more baggage when you hear them from a child. Heavily laden with responsibility and expectation as it were.

But wait, there’s more. Little M&M was not content to let Mini Me have all the fun and attention. She woke up yesterday with a fever and cough. The Queen initially declined my suggestion that we take her to the doctor. Sometime between then and 5:30 when I was stuck in traffic, she changed her mind and decided that M&M had to go to the doctor RIGHT NOW!!! Well, the ER is the only option for an infant less than one year old at 6:00 PM on a national holiday eve.

Off we go to the ER. Little girl had a fever of 102.6. That’s a bit much for a boo boo. She was sitting up all proud and happy in the ER though. Rosy cheeks and all. She didn’t seem to mind. She was the center of attention. I kept Mini Me and The Banshee busy while The Queen handled medical consenter duties. We finally made it home about an hour or two ago. The doctor said she thought it was a viral infection…meaning they don’t know what it is. We were instructed to manage the fever with infant Tylenol. Keep an eye on her. Yeah, like she ever leaves our sight except when we are asleep.

In other news, the status conference in M&M’s bio parents’ rights case was held last week. What we were told to expect did not happen. We were expecting a trial date to be set. No such luck. After the hearing we were told by the CPS caseworker’s supervisor that “they don’t yet have grounds” to terminate rights. By my count, they have at least nine separate grounds. So, something else is going on, and I have no idea what it is.

There will be a family conference with the bio parents sometime soon to try and identify other family members who may be viable alternatives to take M&M. Unless we are woefully misinformed by a certain other family member who is no longer in the picture, that conference will be a complete failure and total waste of time and taxpayer money. If that goes according to plan, the hearing that the court scheduled for mid October will be cancelled and rescheduled or repurposed. If that does NOT go according to plan, we will have to take more drastic measures.

In the meantime, we continue to sit back, hurry up and wait.

The good news is that M&M gets to wait with us and not anyone else.

I do want to take a moment here and comment on the difference in attitudes between M&M’s parents and the parents of Mini Me and The Banshee. Mini Me and The Banshee’s mom and dad are pleasant people who are grateful for the care we are giving their kids. They genuinely love their kids. They have not missed a visit in two months. They’ve done everything ordered by the court that has been available to do thus far. Momma recognizes that it was HER choices that led them to where they are now, and it will take HER making changes to HERSELF to get her kids back.

By contrast, M&M’s parents had that look in their eyes at the hearing that they wanted us to drop dead. Every time we have had any contact with them or have reports about their situation, they are always making excuses for this or that. They blame the system for their situation. They are not even trying to do the bare minimum the court has ordered them to do. They’ve been kicked out of their state funded classes for non-attendance. They have no home. They do not have consistent employment or reliable transportation. They have not gone to counseling. In short, they have done nada, zip, zero.

And the state is considering giving M&M back to them.

I want my girl. I want out of the system.  If M&M is the only child The Queen and I ever have, so be it. She is worth it.

22 comments:

  1. i am so glad to hear that the surgery went well - how is little Mini You recovering? and how is the Banshee's fever?

    i am sorry that you have to go through more hurry up and wait with baby M&M - it has to be nerve racking! but, i can only imagine how thankful i would be if i were Mini You and the Banshee's mother!

    as always, you all are always in our prayers! thanks for the update!

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. oh and Happy Independence Day!

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    2. Kymber, Mini Me is recovering very well. He's sitting on the loveseat next to The Queen noshing on potato chips right now. Also, it's actually M&M that has the fever. It broke a couple of hours ago after a half dose of infant Tylenol. Now, we just have to wait for her coughing and gurgling to go away. Thanks for the prayers.

      Oh, and happy belated Canada birthday day.

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    3. i am glad to hear that Mini Me and M&M are recovering! sorry about the mix up on who had the fever!!!

      Happy Independence Day!!!

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    4. Kymber, no worries. Enjoy a tasty beverage and blow something up. That's what we do.

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  2. You are the best parents she'll ever have, and I hope she has you for her entire life.

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    1. Brigid, thanks for the vote of confidence. One way or another she will be with us her entire life. Of that I have no doubt. It's the sitting back and letting God work out the details that is a might stressful.

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  3. I'm glad Mini-me and The Banshee have parents who are apparently willing to do what it takes to get them back and that they appreciate the great care their kids are getting from you.

    M&M - *sigh* - if I had the power, this would all be settled and she'd be yours. I'm sorry her parents are a bunch of losers and that our system is such that she could actually be given back to them. That breaks my heart.

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    1. GunDiva, we all have the power to settle this...we just might not like the consequences of using that power to settle things. The system, for all its flaws, does do some good as evidenced by Mini Me and The Banshee's parents. I wish I could say that it does no wrong, but I know better. It is staffed by human beings and not always the best ones at that. Anytime something becomes just a job, the purpose behind the job tends to get lost. I just wish the CPS caseworker would not insult my intelligence by assuming that I am stupid.

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  4. I love liquid Versed so much. So. Very. Much. I often wish I had it on hand to administer to my own and other unruly children in my presence. Or to just take myownself.

    Love the mommy and daddy thing and also love that Mini-Me and The Banshee have good parents who are willing to try. I will also gladly waste my tax dollars in order for you and The Queen to keep little M&M and for her sucky parents to never get their hands on her again. To really fight her fever, alternate between ibuprofen and tylenol. I haven't had to do it in a long time, but I know it worked really well because they babies got meds every two hours because of the alternating instead of one dose every four hours. Does that make sense? They don't OD because they are still getting the right dose of each med in the right amount of time but because it's two different meds, it's every two hours.

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    1. Candance, thanks for the advice. I will pass it along to The Queen.

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    2. Candance just gave away the ER's favorite secret. Parents thought we were miracle workers, when in fact we just knew the magic combination of anti-pyretic (Tylenol) and anti-inflammatory (ibuprofen). Two different mechanisms of action in the body; one most excellent result :)

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  5. Sick kids are never fun. How wonderful that they have someone to care for them, to worry, to comfort, to love them.

    I,too, recently discovered the miracle cocktail that is Tylenol and Ibuprofen...it's pretty sweet.

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    1. A Girl, sick kids may not be fun, but there are still cute and cuddly. Got to snuggle with M&M in the recliner last night for th first time in a long time after she woke up at 3:00am with a bad cough and congestion. I've missedmy late night one on one time with th boo boo.

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  6. GunDiva, do you have any ER secrets for chronic upper respiratory infections and clearing coughs and congestion?

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  7. I will pray for your wonderful family. After our bio-kids grew up and went to college, we fostered to adopt and teen boy. It was the most frustrating experience by virtue of the system, not the child. The adoption was finalized two years ago. Keep the faith !
    I have thoroughly enjoyed your entry today, and your writing style. I will definitely be back.

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    1. Jane, thanks and welcome. Keeping faith is challenging sometimes. I just try to focus on enjoying every moment I get with her and try not to worry about what God is doing to work things out.

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  8. Sounds like quite the ordeal for a little guy. What a trooper! As for M&M, I say follow your heart and fight for what is right. I can't explain how screwed up the system is, I'm sure you know. Good luck to you! You and the Queen rock!

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  9. Momma Fargo, welcome. Mini Me is a trooper, and we will fit if we have to. Right now, there is no immediate need, and we have a good relationship with our caseworker despite the fact that she feels the need to remind us time and again that we are the last resort.

    On another note, I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriage and the other drama going on with your husband. I've been quietly following it on your blog, but I've withheld comment so that I don't say something that might offend. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  10. I get the same look from my brother that you got from M&M's parents.

    I feel your pain.

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    1. Auntie J, did you also get the overwhelming desire to go smack them up side the head?

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