Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Idjit: Spring Break Edition

So, I'm in Houston for business. The Queen and Princess M&M came with me since it's within driving distance and doesn't cost the company anything extra. It costs ME extra, but that's balanced out by the pleasure I get from not being away from my girls for two and a half days. 

My business is taking place in southwest Houston near Beltway 8 and 288 for those of you who know the area. For those of you not in the know (you're not missing me), there is not much in the way of "nice" places to stay in that area. So, we decided to stay in Kemah Boardwalk area which is right on Galveston Bay a little bit further south and east of where I'm spending my days. It's about 45 minutes away, but the extra drive time is worth it to us to have a nice, fun place for The Queen and M&M to hang out during the day while I am taking care of business.

Kemah is about halfway (more of less) between Houston and Galveston. As such, I thought it would be a good idea to take The Queen and M&M to the island yesterday evening for the purpose of giving M&M her first big water beach experience and having dinner. 

Bear in mind, this week is Spring Break for the majority of the world. 

As a side note, defective global warming made for some amusing people watching last night as scantily clad youngsters froze their kiesters off along Seawall Blvd. in 60 degree temps with a steady 20 MPH wind. 

Any stupid, before we made it to the beach area, we were minding our own business stopped at a stop light southbound on Broadway (which is what I-45 turns into after you get on the island from the causeway) in The Queen's chariot...a big, white, Lincoln Navigator. As The Queen and I chatted about something, there was a popping sound at which time we felt a slight bump. 

From long experience, I knew exactly what had happened which was easily confirmed by a check of the rearview mirror which revealed a white vehicle entirely too close to the rear of our vehicle. I prepared to hastily exit the vehicle to confront the other driver after a somewhat vexed utterance of "What the H...?" The Queen, in her infinite patience, admonished me to remain calm. She's compassionate that way.

I exited the Nav (as we call...we're lazy that way) and walked back to find a white Honda Accord sedan's front bumper kissing the hitch cover on the back bumper of the Nav. 

I approached the driver's door on the Honda which, much to my aggravation, was not already open and gave the driver a opened handed "what gives?" gesture. I couldn't see much through the tinted windows, but the door finally opened to reveal a young, 20 something female in a sundress. If pressed, I will guess that she was of Vietnamese descent.

I looked at her, looked at the Nav and looked back at her. Still not getting anything verbal from here yet much less an "are you okay?", I asked her "What happened?" 

20 Something replied, "I don't know what happened. I was just driving, and...." while waving her right hand in a vague, dismissive manner. 

I looked at her lap which contained a cell phone and inquired, "Were you on your phone?"

20 Something: "Yes." somewhat sheeplishly. At this point, she finally woke up out of her tech haze enough to exit the car and see if there was damage. 

We both examined the bumpers. I looked over and asked, "Are you all right?"

20 Something: "Yes."

"It doesn't look like there's any damage here.", I say. "Just drive more careful."

I turned and walked back to the car. I had more important things to do than exchange information with her over a scratch on the bumper. 

She never once asked if I was alright or if there was anyone else in the car. Hopefully, she will take the rather inexpensive lesson to heart. 


  1. "She never once asked if I was alright or if there was anyone else in the car. Hopefully, she will take the rather inexpensive lesson to heart."

    Well, some fantasies may come true, but not this one. I fell out of my chair laughing with that line. Thanks for the comic relief.

    1. JPD, I know I am being optimistic, but I was trying to be charitable and not let the incident affect my evening with the family. Glad you found my optimism amusing.

  2. I'm with JPD. Optimism *is* amusing :P

    1. GunDiva, my day job involves pessimism. It's overrated. Though smashing her precious phone might have been amusing AND satisfying.


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