Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Do Yourself a Favor (A Health Insurance Rant)...

DO NOT EVER, EVVVVERRRRR, request an online quote for heath insurance from Agile Health Insurance or their Go Health website.

They claim they will not sell your information or release you private information. "Your trust is our highest priority. We will never sell your information; we will keep your information secured; and we will disclose it only as allowed by the law and this Privacy Policy. - See more at: https://www.agilehealthinsurance.com/privacy#sthash.xSDANrKM.dpuf"


Within minutes, literally, of inputting my basic information into the website for an online health insurance quote that is supposedly compliant with the "Affordable" Care Act, I began to be inundated with phone calls from friendly, licensed agents. 19 calls in four hours. One poor sod called 3 times in 15 minutes. I say poor sod because the poor lady that was stuck with me after the cheerful telemarketer on the other end of the auto dialer transferred me got a bit of an attitude and an earful from me. I received calls from no less than 4 agents from the same stinking company.

I received emails.

I received texts.

I'm half expecting a pony express rider to show up on my door step in a few minutes with an urgent message about my frickin' health insurance coverage.

The agent who hit the trifecta by calling, emailing AND texting, got a nasty gram in response in which I told him to lose my information. I didn't say "or else", but the threat of dire consequences was implied by my tone. He responded that he doesn't like the way these companies sell information either and that I ought to sue the company that sold my information. I recommended he, as an agent dealing with that company, should give the head of marketing the same treatment I got and see how they like it. I might have suggested a thorough reaming of an orifice or possibly creation of a new one.

I would have suggested a tabasco enema with a chainsaw chaser, but I'm trying to cut back on my daily expressions of sarcasm.

Now, I know these are people trying to earn a living, and the ACA has not made their lives any easier. Not only that, I can half way respect the agents with enough humanity left to actually dial the phones themselves and leave a message. But I will NOT answer a call from a number I do not recognize, nor will I return a call to a number that does not have a real, live human being leaving a message.

If I can find the call center where the robo-dialer that auto dialed me 3 times in 15 minutes is located, I'm taking a sledge hammer to the server, pouring gasoline on the remains, watching it burn, salting the earth around it, and erecting a massive robot with a flaming sword and strict programming to destroy anything that comes within the property boundaries to prevent anyone from rebuilding on that site.


I ought to go back on the site and input my congressman's information just for giggles. That ought to take care of the problem.


  1. This is full of win:

    I ought to go back on the site and input my congressman's information just for giggles. That ought to take care of the problem.

    Just wear a disguise and log in on a public computer at the library ;-)

    1. Irish, thanks. In hindsight, it should be former president Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid's information and I'd pay a college student $20 to do it from the campus library so it looks like a prank.

  2. I can't wait to see your response to any actual "coverage" that you end up with. You pay out the nose for premiums, then pay out the other end for deductibles and out of pocket. That is, if they actually have providers who you want to see in the first place without having to travel 300 miles.

    1. T, you mean like my dearly departed company health care plan which had a ridiculous $4500 per family member deductible, 20% co-pays for most things in network, and coverage that did not fit my family's needs?


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