Today has been a tough day emotionally. One of the hospice nurses stopped by the house today for a regular visit. I was busy with work and did not get to sit in like I do when I can. I was stuck on yet another monotonous conference call about how our business unit can support the larger corporate goals for 2020....blah, blah, blah. How about we try focusing on fundamentals for starters and quite trying to "innovate". Seems like every time some wet behind the ears manager gets a wild hair, we have to sit through unproductive training as they roll out another useless tool that robs our efficiency and distracts us from our core jobs. If they would quite screwing with us and just make the tools we have actually work as they are intended, it'd be a nice start. But, nnooOOOOooo, we have to innovate and play with shiny new toys because someone had a light bulb moment instead of asking whether we really needed another new turnip twaddler.
I digress.
The Queen reported the findings from the nurse visit: Oma is starting to show signs that her body is shutting down. Of course, they cannot say how long she has left; however, based on what's happening, we are looking at days to weeks as opposed to weeks to months. The Queen, understandably, has been taking it very hard.
M&M is handling things surprisingly well for an 8 year old. We've been extra attentive towards her and listening more. We also have plans in place for when things appear imminent. So, we've been thinking ahead on that front.
I've given my boss a heads up that bereavement leave is probably in the near future. She appreciated that.
Opa, while also taking things very hard, has finally moved out of denial mode. I don't think he is fully at acceptance yet, but he's making progress. So, that's healthy. I was able to have a good heart to heart with him this evening about arrangements for Oma which he has been avoiding for months now. It went better than I expected, but I had prayed for wisdom before approaching him too. So, maybe a small answered prayer went a long way too.
One small insight that came to me during the discussion with Opa was something I really don't think many people consider when they get married. Opa and Oma have been together for over 56 years now. Opa has said a couple of times now, "What am I going to do without her?" I told him, "Genesis says the two shall become one flesh. That's more than just a physical bonding. It's emotional, mental and spiritual as well." Opa has relied on Oma for so long, I'm really not sure what's going to happen with him when she is gone.
Sorry for the Monday evening downer post. It's just helpful to write about it. Gives me a way to process what's happening so that I can focus on The Queen's and Opa's needs.
My prayers are with you. I am a regular follower. I am also close (Arlington). Drop me a line if there is anything, any help you may need. You know, heavy lifting, whatever. My work schedule is flexible. jpdickson@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteJPD, thank you for the kind offer. We are practically neighbors. The silver lining, if you want to call it that, is the workload has actually gotten easier now that Oma is bedridden and shutting down. The difficulty is more emotional at this point as opposed to physical.
DeleteI know I am an unknown entity in the either, but sometime a stranger can lend a supportive shoulder to bear some of the tasks that are put in front of us. You wanna talk, I will listen, remain unbiased in a very biased milieu. Sometime is is very cathartic to put thoughts, hopes and anguishes on paper or in your case a screen. Some of us has gone through what you are living and have a deep understanding and a simple suggestion or two if you are amiable to it. You will get through it, stronger then for not experiencing it. For God will look favorably upon you.
ReplyDeleteCederq, much appreciated. This blog has been my outlet in various ways for over 10 years now. Sometimes it's humor. Sometimes it's catharsis. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason and yet people still come together for reasons beyond family and prior association. I know others have gone through what we are dealing with before me. Number One Follower lost his mom to Alzheimer's not too long ago too. He and his wife have been great resources. I'm always open to suggestions. Feel free to drop a line anytime.
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