One Year...Give or Take

As of last Sunday, M&M has been with The Queen and I for one year. Time has absolutely flown by. It seems like yesterday that I was getting up with her in the middle of the night to give her bottles and snuggle up with her on the loveseat in the TV room. There is just something calming and peaceful about a small child trusting you enough to fall asleep in your arms, and there is still nothing I like more than to snuggle up with her on my chest in the TV room...she just covers a little more real estate now. .

Speaking of covering more real estate, we were going through a huge amount of "old" baby clothes from the last year to give to a friend of a friend. We found her preemie and newborn clothes. She was so tiny, tiny, TINY! I truly wish I could post then and now photos, but that will have to wait a little longer. She was barely a handful, but she has made up for lost time. She is two months younger than The Banshee, but they are all but the same size.

Mini Me and The Banshee are still with us and likely to remain so through mid March when the next hearing is scheduled in their case. In the meantime, I have to suppress the urge to dope slap their bio parents who seem to be intent on having one dumb ass attack after another.

First, they lost out on leasing a pretty decent mobile home for a reasonable monthly rent just down the street from family because they didn't get a lease nailed down in writing. They had been trying to work off the deposit by performing the painting and make ready work for the land lady. Well, land lady's son needed a place to stay for some reason. Guess who won that one. The land lady did at least offer them $400 for the work they had performed.

Then, they reverted back to their prior idiocy by giving The Banshee Dr Pepper in a sippy cup. Hello??? Anyone in there??? Mini Me has not freaking teeth because you disolved them using highly acidic carbonated sodas and other sugary junk food all because you don't have the skills to parent and never learned how to say NO!!

There is more drama involved that I will not report here because it would elevate my blood pressure beyond reasonable limits, and I've been enjoying a period of relative calm of late. It just angers and frustrates me that I can almost script out the path those kids lives will take in the future; and, unfortunately, none of it is pretty. Needless to say, I cannot wait to be out of the foster care system.

I wanna go back home and snuggle up with M&M now.

Inaugural Review in The Toy Box

Since some of y'all asked, this is your notice that the inaugural product review is posted over at Daddy Hawk's Toy Box. Go check it out.

The Toy Box is Open

The first post is up at Daddy Hawk's Toy Box. The layout and look are still under construction, but I wanted to get some content posted sooner rather than later.

Enjoy.

There's Gonna Be Some Changes 'Round Here...

Before I get to the changes here at Preachers & Horse Thieves, I'd like to take a moment to welcome another follower. Even though she does not appear in the "official" listing in the side bar, Jane of Virginia sounded off her presence in the comments of the last post. Her profile lists her online presence at "Rational Preparedness" : The Blog. Everybody say "hi" to Jane. While you're at it, tell me if you don't think her profile picture is the spitting image of Cote de Pablo from NCIS.

Now, moving right along, the first change I would like to make you all aware of is the new name. Not for the blog, but for the blogger. Shepherd K has been a fun name, but it's time to put it to bed. There are a couple of reasons for the decision. The main one is the likely adoption of M&M in the near to mid future. As some of you may recall, The Queen bestowed upon me the title of "Daddy Hawk" shortly after M&M's arrival. Over the almost one year since her arrival, I have come to view myself more and more as a husband / father / protector, a Daddy Hawk, as opposed to anything else. Besides, the best nicknames are those that others give you instead of ones you think up for yourself.

So, when you see a comment from a stranger named Daddy Hawk, it's just me.

We'll get along fine as long as you don't mess with my wife or my daughter.

The second change (or second and third depending on your point of view) is the changing nature of the blog. My original intent when I started writing here was to have a place to hone my writing skills, find my "voice" and share random thoughts on a variety of topics and other stuff. In other words, a general blog. Over time, I have gotten away from random thoughts and other stuff and started focusing more on my life as it happens. A diary of sorts. Part family history, part spleen venting. Looking back through the stats though, I've noticed that my most "popular" posts were the car reviews. In fact, my 2010 Ford Focus SES review is the number three entry for that search term on Google. Yeah, I just patted myself on the back. There might have been a self satisfied, maniacal chuckle or two as well.

In light of those revelations, I've decided on a two part solution. Part one, Preachers & Horse Thieves will continue to be your destination for all things related to The Queen, Daddy Hawk, M&M and the happenings at Castle Erickson. Part two is the creation of a new blog, called Daddy Hawk's Toy Box, which is where I will turn my inner twelve year old boy loose for things like writing reviews of cars, planes, motorcycles, guns, tools, books, movies....in short, anything a twelve year old boy (or girl) stuck in a middle aged man's (or woman's) body might find interesting.

The Toy Box is under development as you read this. It may be a little bit before some content appears, but I'll get something up there before too long.

Finally, I will continue to contribute to The GunDivas blog on occasion. Just under the new blogger name. Otherwise, it'll be semi-business as usual around here.

As always, I really appreciate your readership, your friendship and your comments.

Welcome and A Brief Word From Our Sponsors

I'd like to take a moment out of my day to welcome a recent addition to the followers list, Little Lotta, of the blog Whitless Relocation Program. Little Lotta, we're glad to have you as a member of the congregation. I hope to hear you singing in the choir.

Now, I know I've been relatively quiet here lately. The fact of the matter is that I have been working on writing M&M's full story, by which I mean her story as I know it from my point of view. I started working on it in late October, and I'm already at 8 pages and 4100 words. It's a bit emotional for me, and it's pretty much consuming what little brain power and free time I have for writing. I promise to give you all fair warning before I post it so that you can have tissues and a few minutes set aside.

I will say that we have crossed one very major hurdle in the process. Earlier this week, the parental rights of M&M's birth parents were officially terminated by the court. They have 90 days to file an appeal. Even if they find an attorney willing to file the appeal, we do not anticipate the court accepting the appeal. If all goes well, that puts us in position to consummate an adoption in early to mid March assuming what we have been told is correct.

So, look for M&M's story sometime after that. Semi-regular content will resume once I have the majority of her story ready for final edit and can focus on other topics.

I Love My Wife

A brief text exchange between myself and The Queen as she went out for an after dark exercise walk.

Me: Be careful

The Queen: It is well lit and there are people on the playground area.

Me: Okay. Good. God protects. But it always helps to be aware.

The Queen: Naw. I don't think I will be aware.

Me: And you wonder why I want long range rifles...so I can protect you from afar.

The Queen: LOL, You are so heroic.

Me: Nothing says "stay away from my wife" like a .308 in the ear.

The Queen: LOL. Awww so protective.

Me: That's my job. Is what I vowed on our wedding day. Well, not the .308 in the ear exactly, but the general concept of get off my wife.;)

A Little Light in the Darkness...

I thought I would take a few minutes out of the day to post a brief update on life at Castle Erickson; but, first, we gots to welcome us a new follower. K (no relation) at Planning and Foresight found his way here and chose to stay a while. K's blog is focused on prepping and is jam packed with good info. I'm slowly digging through his archives when I have time. Good stuff. Check him out.

Now then, on with the show.

Mini Me and The Banshee are still with us. There were mumblings in the winds a couple of weeks ago that they might be going back to momma sometime around the first of November. There is a permanency conference set with the court then, and the caseworker was going to be recommending monitored return (kids go home while CPS keeps an eye on things for six months or so).

The key word there is "was".

Apparently, some medical records came in that were not kosher and some required classes and counseling have not been started much less completed. We don't get the details, just the outline of the story. Suffice it to say, the caseworker is backing off her earlier hints and is reverting back to square one which also involves trying to locate viable family member placements. That leaves us back to being in limbo with those two.

It's really a sad situation. While not parent of the year material, momma and daddy/step daddy really do genuinely love those kids from the interactions we've seen with them together. CPS has candidly told us that the kids never should have been removed in the first place (it was apparently the result of momma's child molester step father who called in a false report out of spite) and that they do not have grounds for termination of rights. But...they are in the system now which has its own set of rules and timelines.

The Queen and I really love those two kids despite The Banshee's tendency to scream at every opportunity, and we really want to see them reunited before we exit the system; however, we can't hang around forever waiting for CPS and the parents to sort this mess out. We need to get on with our lives as a family (hopefully with M&M in tow). The really frustrating thing for us is that the parents could have had their kids back by now if they had just done what CPS had asked them to do. Instead, they are wallowing in denial (his alcohol consumption..."it's not a problem") and co-dependence ("I'm going to leave him...I can't afford to be on my own."). Meanwhile, The Queen and I beat our heads against the wall and try to make the best of it.

M&M, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. We have received word that the trial on the bio parents' rights case is set for the last week of November. There is pretty much a 100% chance that their rights will be terminated at that trial. They have left the state, and CPS could pursue child abandonment charges if they were so inclined. That would add a six month delay to the whole thing, and CPS is taking the wiser course of just moving for termination on the existing evidence.

But wait, it gets better. The Queen and the CPS caseworker had a discussion last week. Almost everytime we've talked with the caseworker up to this point, she has been very careful to always remind us that she has to keep looking for family members, there's no guarantee we will get to keep M&M, yada yada yada. For the first time, the caseworker told us even if the momma's mom's home study is approved by her state, SHE has the power to deny it. She also started saying things like "it's looking like we are on track", etc.

[blink, blink] Who is this, and what has she done with our caseworker?

Ah, but there's more. Yesterday, I got a call from M&M's ad litem (the court appointed attorney to represent M&M's best interests). She called to let me know about the trial setting. She also said she would be coming by the house for one last visit so she can write her final report. She indicated she would be recommending to the court that The Queen and I be allowed to adopt M&M.

[blink, blink, blink] I promise I'm not gonna cry. I might be tearing up as I write this, but you can't see it. So, it's not happening.

So, what happens from there? After rights are terminated, the court has to physically serve them with notice of the termination. Since they are out of state with no known address, that may be difficult. Fortunately, the law allows alternative means of service. Most likely, they will be served via publication in a paper of record. Once that occurs, they will 60 days to file an appeal. The court does not have to accept the appeal, and the likelihood of an appeal being accepted under the circumstances are miniscule. The chances of an accepted appeal being successfully granted in the Tarrant County court of appeals...infinitesimal.

Once the time to file an appeal runs or an appeal is rejected/denied, we are free to adopt M&M as soon as a hearing can be scheduled which we hope will be the very next day.  So, unless a miracle happens, the earliest we will be able to adopt M&M is late January.

The Queen and I are beside ourselves. We can't wait for the end of November and end of January to get here. This has been a very emotional journey, and one that, frankly, we do not want to repeat. It has also been a miraculous journey in a lot of ways. I am working on writing the full story to post here. I believe those who are people of faith will see a series of miracles and God's influence leading to an inevitable conclusion. Those who are not religious may not see it that way, but I think they will find it an inspiring story nonetheless.

We have already made the decision that we will be getting out of the foster care system once the adoption is final. Staying in is not an option for either of us. There are too many restrictions. It is too frustrating. We want our freedom back. Whether or not that will impact Mini Me and The Banshee directly remains to be seen. We hope that they will have already moved on to where they need to be by then. If not...who's to say at this point?

In the meantime, don't start planning the party yet...but expect an invitation.