A Friendly Heads Up To Restaurant Goers

Last night, The Queen and I were out and about following her regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment. It was past dinnertime when we finished with the doc, and we were 30 minutes from home meaning that it would be an hour plus for travel and cook time if we were to try and return to Castle Erickson for our repast. That was a clearly unacceptable option, and we set about trying to locate a suitable location to eat.

Unfortunately, eating out is a challenge for The Queen as she is HIGHLY allergic to gluten (which is a protein found in wheat and other grains…and it’s in a whole more stuff than you might expect) and has a lesser allergy to soy (which is in just about everything else). Add to that the fact that The Queen can be somewhat…indecisive…about what she wants to eat, and we have a recipe for disaster.

Unusually for her, The Queen actually had a strong opinion about what she wanted for dinner: Barbeque. Believe it or not, barbeque, in and of itself, is normally gluten and soy free. You just have to be careful about the sides, sauces and marinades. Near the doc’s office was a Colter’s Barbeque; however, as is frequently the case, The Queen didn’t want Colter’s barbeque. She really wanted barbeque from a hole in the wall, family owned shack. Unfortunately, we did not know where to find one in the area where we were at that time of night. Strike One. We went by a Spring Creek Barbeque location as a second choice; however, we arrived too late as they were closing their doors for the evening as we were pulling into the parking lot. Strike Two.

We remembered that there was a place reputed to serve barbeque not too far away from the Spring Creek location, and so we set out to see if they were still open and what they had to offer. Now, this particular “barbeque” place is part of a chain with several other locations. The Queen and I had gone to a different location of this same chain in Dallas about 10 years ago with friends from church…and we don’t remember anything being amiss from our visit at that time.

Well, times…they have apparently changed.

The Queen and I walked in the front door of this establishment, and the first thing I noticed was a display of T-shirts on the wall in front of me extending to the left. I like T-Shirts. I wear a lot of them given the fact that I work from home. I especially like funny T-shirts. The Queen had one I’d like to find in an XL. It had a picture of a monkey with one arm wrapped in bandages while the other arm held a lit firecracker. The caption read: “Slow Learner.” One T-shirt in particular displayed on the wall caught my eye. It read: “Blondes…the other white meat.” Amusing, but odd. Some might say a little dark. Some might also call this a clue.

Then, my attention was drawn to the hostess’ stand on the right since The Queen and I needed to peruse the menu and ask allergy questions. There were two young ladies there to greet us and ask us how many in our party. Being focused on locating a menu for The Queen’s perusal, the fact that these young ladies were dressed…skimpily…didn’t immediately register on my thick skulled brain. Perhaps I’ve become a little TOO conservative. Perhaps I’ve reached that “old fuddy duddy” stage. I’m not sure; but, here again, my initial reaction was that these ladies’ choices in clothing was an odd choice for work attire.

And then I noticed the rest of the wait staff…all clothed in similar fashion as the hostesses.

That’s when it hit me…I was in the barbeque version of Hooters…if Hooters were to insist on even LESS clothing for their uniform.

Now, I am a fan of the female form. It’s one of the things that I enjoy most about The Queen. I am also, however, a very happily married man and have absolutely no need to see young women barely clothed in not much more than what a bikini would cover. I especially don’t need to have that scene paraded in front of me, assaulting my senses, while trying to have dinner WITH MY WIFE!

As you will recall, I mentioned that The Queen and I had visited another location several years before. We both remember having a nice meal with friends from church. Neither The Queen nor I remember seeing the wait staff at the other location being undressed in the fashion we saw last, and I can guarantee we both would have remembered.

The Queen and I were tired and hungry last night. So, it’s understandable that we would be a little slow on the uptake. Once all the hints finally sunk into our low blood sugar addled brains, we swiftly made the decision to exit stage left and go back in search of alternate food establishments.

So, as a public service to my readership, if you are offended by scantily clad women serving you food…you might want to avoid Bone Daddy’s House of Smoke.