Friday, October 26, 2012

A Little Light in the Darkness...

I thought I would take a few minutes out of the day to post a brief update on life at Castle Erickson; but, first, we gots to welcome us a new follower. K (no relation) at Planning and Foresight found his way here and chose to stay a while. K's blog is focused on prepping and is jam packed with good info. I'm slowly digging through his archives when I have time. Good stuff. Check him out.

Now then, on with the show.

Mini Me and The Banshee are still with us. There were mumblings in the winds a couple of weeks ago that they might be going back to momma sometime around the first of November. There is a permanency conference set with the court then, and the caseworker was going to be recommending monitored return (kids go home while CPS keeps an eye on things for six months or so).

The key word there is "was".

Apparently, some medical records came in that were not kosher and some required classes and counseling have not been started much less completed. We don't get the details, just the outline of the story. Suffice it to say, the caseworker is backing off her earlier hints and is reverting back to square one which also involves trying to locate viable family member placements. That leaves us back to being in limbo with those two.

It's really a sad situation. While not parent of the year material, momma and daddy/step daddy really do genuinely love those kids from the interactions we've seen with them together. CPS has candidly told us that the kids never should have been removed in the first place (it was apparently the result of momma's child molester step father who called in a false report out of spite) and that they do not have grounds for termination of rights. But...they are in the system now which has its own set of rules and timelines.

The Queen and I really love those two kids despite The Banshee's tendency to scream at every opportunity, and we really want to see them reunited before we exit the system; however, we can't hang around forever waiting for CPS and the parents to sort this mess out. We need to get on with our lives as a family (hopefully with M&M in tow). The really frustrating thing for us is that the parents could have had their kids back by now if they had just done what CPS had asked them to do. Instead, they are wallowing in denial (his alcohol consumption..."it's not a problem") and co-dependence ("I'm going to leave him...I can't afford to be on my own."). Meanwhile, The Queen and I beat our heads against the wall and try to make the best of it.

M&M, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. We have received word that the trial on the bio parents' rights case is set for the last week of November. There is pretty much a 100% chance that their rights will be terminated at that trial. They have left the state, and CPS could pursue child abandonment charges if they were so inclined. That would add a six month delay to the whole thing, and CPS is taking the wiser course of just moving for termination on the existing evidence.

But wait, it gets better. The Queen and the CPS caseworker had a discussion last week. Almost everytime we've talked with the caseworker up to this point, she has been very careful to always remind us that she has to keep looking for family members, there's no guarantee we will get to keep M&M, yada yada yada. For the first time, the caseworker told us even if the momma's mom's home study is approved by her state, SHE has the power to deny it. She also started saying things like "it's looking like we are on track", etc.

[blink, blink] Who is this, and what has she done with our caseworker?

Ah, but there's more. Yesterday, I got a call from M&M's ad litem (the court appointed attorney to represent M&M's best interests). She called to let me know about the trial setting. She also said she would be coming by the house for one last visit so she can write her final report. She indicated she would be recommending to the court that The Queen and I be allowed to adopt M&M.

[blink, blink, blink] I promise I'm not gonna cry. I might be tearing up as I write this, but you can't see it. So, it's not happening.

So, what happens from there? After rights are terminated, the court has to physically serve them with notice of the termination. Since they are out of state with no known address, that may be difficult. Fortunately, the law allows alternative means of service. Most likely, they will be served via publication in a paper of record. Once that occurs, they will 60 days to file an appeal. The court does not have to accept the appeal, and the likelihood of an appeal being accepted under the circumstances are miniscule. The chances of an accepted appeal being successfully granted in the Tarrant County court of appeals...infinitesimal.

Once the time to file an appeal runs or an appeal is rejected/denied, we are free to adopt M&M as soon as a hearing can be scheduled which we hope will be the very next day.  So, unless a miracle happens, the earliest we will be able to adopt M&M is late January.

The Queen and I are beside ourselves. We can't wait for the end of November and end of January to get here. This has been a very emotional journey, and one that, frankly, we do not want to repeat. It has also been a miraculous journey in a lot of ways. I am working on writing the full story to post here. I believe those who are people of faith will see a series of miracles and God's influence leading to an inevitable conclusion. Those who are not religious may not see it that way, but I think they will find it an inspiring story nonetheless.

We have already made the decision that we will be getting out of the foster care system once the adoption is final. Staying in is not an option for either of us. There are too many restrictions. It is too frustrating. We want our freedom back. Whether or not that will impact Mini Me and The Banshee directly remains to be seen. We hope that they will have already moved on to where they need to be by then. If not...who's to say at this point?

In the meantime, don't start planning the party yet...but expect an invitation.

23 comments:

  1. i am expecting an invitation in the mail!

    and since i am known throughout the internet as a person of few words when it pertains to mushy subjects, i will just say this.

    God Bless all of those children. and God Bless you and the Queen.

    much love to all of you! your friend,
    kymber
    (p.s. - i am not surprised at all by the miracles. of course there were miracles!)

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    1. Kymber, no tickie, no laundry. You want an invite in the mail, cough up the address.

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    2. yo dude...i do believe that i have sent our physical address to you in order to come here if ever need be? or did i just dream that all up? let me know...if there is anyone on the interwebs that i want to have our actual address, it's you guys!!!!

      let me know. but i am pretty sure that i have sent it! your friend,
      much love...so much love being sent to your family,
      kymber

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    3. Kymber, I just checked the email folders, and I am not saying you hallucinated the whole thing...but I can't find anything about your physical location other than you live in Canada. Speaking of dreaming things, weren't you going to send some heal all th

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    4. Stupid fat fingers. Meant this way.

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  2. Thanks for the kind welcome. I hope that everything works to your benefit, the children of today need a strong home. I'll keep everyone in our prayers or send good vibes your way...Whichever way you want to look at things. Long Live the Queen and Keep Right On Prepping.

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    1. K, I accept all prayers except maybe from satan worshipers and puppy killers.

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  3. *blinking* (dust in the eyes, promise)

    *grinning from ear to ear*

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  4. Pardon me, but I seem to have several specks of sentiment in my eyes.

    SO delighted for you. We'd come if we didn't live, y'know, a thousand miles away. I know how hard this has been for you. I've lived it, even if not in the foster care system sense. The day we finally made it to court and got the flabbergasting verdict in our favor took 14 months to get to, and we're under no illusions that it's over for good by any means.

    I've been cheering you guys on and praying for you in the months that I've been hanging out here, simply because I know the angst and the anxiety. And I can tell from your words how much you both love M&M and care deeply for MiniMe and the Banshee.

    As always, my ear is open if either you or the Queen need a friend who's been there.

    You're nearing the end of the journey. Hold tight!

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    Replies
    1. Auntie J, we greatly appreciate all the support. It'll be about 14 months for us as well.

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  5. I'll message you my address and start whipping up a variety of precious thing in pink with huge, obnoxious flowers on them. She can call me Aunt Gorgeous. I don't mind.

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    Replies
    1. Candance...I mean Aunt Gorgeous, sounds like a plan. She likes bright and colorful stuff. She picked out her own multi-colored build-a-bear.

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  6. How exciting :) Many more prayers for smooth sailing from here on out, on the way!!

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    Replies
    1. Melanie, thanks. All the help we can get is appreciated.

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  7. Do you have enough storage space to post all of the pictures that I'm sure you've taken and had to withhold?

    Al

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    1. Al, between The Queen and I, we probably have a 1000 photos and videos of her so far. It will probably require me to get some storage, but I haven't looked into that yet.

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  8. Sheperd K,

    While the others talk of pictures and clothes, let's talk about planning for other contingencies.

    What is her first firearm going to be, where is she going to learn to shoot it and what are you going to be cleaning the first time a boy comes to the house to pick her up for a date?

    - By the way, I know of a great private range in case you are interested in membership and could even scare up a couple of references :)

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  9. Bob, I'd love to visit the range. Membership may have to wait until tax return or bonus time though.

    M&m's first gun will be a Nerf. Once she demonstrates proper discipline with that, we will move to something involving .177 cal bbs/pellets. From there, she will graduate to a youth model .22 rifle (probably a Ruger or Marlin). Once she's got the rifle down, we will look at a .22 semi auto pistol or revolver depending on what fits her hand best. From there, who knows.

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  10. That is wonderful news on M and M and thanks so much for sharing bits of her with me outside of the blog world.

    Sorry I missed you this visit through, we'll do it again. You and the Queen and munchkins always have a room at the Range.

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    1. Brigid, thanks and you are welcome. The people I have met online have been terrific, and you are one of the best. I was really disappointed to have to cancel out on you at the last minute. Hopefully, we can take you up on your offer soon. The Queen loves to travel.

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  11. What a great update to read. Sending good thoughts your way!!!

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  12. It's always an amusement for me to read your blogs. I was able to learn stuff that I haven't known. Thanks.

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