Our Latest Business Idea

The Queen and I were on our way home recently from one of our favorite ice cream shops when we passed by a little hole in the wall, cheapy Chinese place not too far from the house that has been there for many years. The Queen was off in her own little world and blurted out the name of the place in a very funny manner which kicked over my giggle box. That led us to us having a giggle fest using fake Chinese names like Sum Ting Wong.

Then, I had one of those light bulb moments. Pretty much every Chinese place in North America has the same menu. Egg drop soup, wonton soup, egg rolls, spring rolls, kung pao chicken, etc, etc, etc. I thought, why can't we have a Chinese restaurant with a more interesting menu? We need a Chinese place that can laugh at itself. Here's some of the menu items we came up with.

Soups and Appetizers 
Egg Bong Soup - Only available in states that have legalized marijuana.

Egg Holes - Traditional egg rolls cut into inch thick slices, battered and deep fried. Served with your choice of dipping sauces.

Long Dic Dong - Foot long corny dogs served with soy sauce, hot mustard and chili sauce.

Mi Ow Mi Ow Skewers - Tender slices of "that's not chicken" marinated in soy sauce and grilled. Served with a bowl of cream sauce.

Entrees

Poon Tang - Also known as the Ted Nugent. Sweet & Sour chicken with a slight alteration. The sauce is made with Tang.

Sum Yun Guy - Also known as the Jeffrey Dahmer. Finger sandwiches with a side of Van De Camp's Beanie Weenies.

Chu Man Chu - Also known as the Hannibal Lecter. Liver and onions with fava beans in a Chianti wine sauce.

Mi Ti Wang - Also known as the Conan (The Barbarian). Polish sausage marinated in anabolic steroids and served with a table side serenade of lamenting women.

Wonton Wang -

Specials
Hu Dun Wong - This is the Murder Mystery Dinner night.

Yu Dun Wong - The special for those cheating on their diets, and our take on the Turducken. A double cheeseburger, stuffed inside a burrito, wrapped in pizza, dipped in beer batter, deep fried and covered in queso sauce.

Fook Yu Fook Mi - Also known as the Austin Powers. This is the family combo with a little of everything for those who can't decide what to get.

Sum Ting Wong - Chef's surprise usually served with lots of apologies and cursing in fluent Mandarin.

Rice and Noodles
Limp Dic - For those with ED issues - a generous helping of Lo Mein noodles sprinkled with Cialis and Viagra

Won Hung Lo - One large meatball nested in a bed of Lo Mein noodles covered in bean spouts

Flied Lice - Standard Fried Rice just pronounced the correct way. 

Desserts
Ding Dong - cream filled and chocolate covered

Hu Flung Pu - chocolate banana soft serve ice cream

Bang Won Wei - Also known as The Missionary. Plain vanilla ice cream with a banana on top. 

Ho Ho Platter - The dessert you pay to go away.

 

Drinks
Harry Wang - our version of the classic Hair of the Dog hangover remedy.

Kids

Weenie Wang - Vienna Sausages served with a side of Flied Lice

For Those With Sensitive Diets

Shrimp Bang Bang - For midgets with flatulence issues.