On with the joke. It's an old joke that some of you have probably heard before, and I certainly do not claim original authorship; BUT, it does have two things going for it: 1) it's clean, and 2) it makes me laugh.
So, a duck walks into a bar. The duck waddles up, hops on a barstool, looks the bartender straight in the eye and says "Got any grapes?" The bartender informs the duck that the bar does not serve any grapes. The ducks hops down and waddles out of the bar.
The next night, the same duck waddles into the bar and proceeds to repeat the same request from the previous night to the same bartender. The bartender proceeds to politely inform the duck that nothing has changed since last night. The duck hops down of his stool and leaves.
This goes on for several nights in a row with the bartender getting more and more frustrated each time until finally, one night, he yells at the duck, "Look!! If you ask for grapes one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the bar."
The duck thinks the situation for a moment and then asks, "Okay then, do you have any nails?"
The bartender, completely deflated, says, "No."
The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"