A Little Mockery Goes a Long Way

My office is like many workplaces these days; and, by that, I mean that it has embraced the "enlightenment" that comes with having a Wellness Committee. And, by "enlightenment", I mean the draconian push to eliminate "unhealthy" things from the lifestyles of the gainfully employed under its domain. 

Word is that, once upon a time prior to my arriving at this place of employment, every Thursday was donut and muffin day with boxes of sweet delights being brought in for the huddled masses to enjoy. At some point, probably the result of increasing health insurance costs and the "encouragement" of the health insurance companies, it was decided that free range fatties should be discouraged from enlarging themselves on the company dime. Some people in the office still have the email with a picture of a donut and captioned "RIP". 

Well, enough is enough. I have decided to embark upon a campaign to recapture the freedom of the common man from the tyranny of health insurance company profit motives. 

I am establishing the ANTI Wellness Committee. 

Our motto is Carpe Donut!! 

Offsite meetings are to be held weekly at Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts. We plan on publishing a news letter with articles about ways to increase your cholesterol and blood pressure, how to be a lazier couch potato, find good deals on hammocks and recliners and generally promote vegetating in front of the TV as a form of exercise (it is, after all, a path to getting into A shape). 

Join us. You know you want to.