Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Dear Starbucks,

We are not going to talk about the whole request to leave your guns at home thing. I'm at DFW Airport where I'm not supposed to carry my gun anyway. 

We are, however, going to discuss hiring retards for baristas in an international airport. I asked for Black Iced Tea. I received cloudy brownish liquid that tasted nothing like the black tea to which I am accustomed. I returned to the barista and said "That's not black tea.  Can you remake it?" At first, a lady of presumably Indian descent insisted that it was black tea. When I told that it was not, in fact, black tea, she admitted that they had run out of black tea and substituted Earl Grey. I advised her politely that pawning off Earl Grey as black tea with no warning was an abomination unto God and Lipton at which point she asked, "You don't like it?" 

Um, no. I don't like Earl Grey when it is hot. Why would I want it cold? 

So, now I am drinking green tea as a barely palatable substitute. Next time you run out of something, be courteous enough to let your customers know. Some of us can actually taste the difference between coffee and tea and don't like having our taste buds violated by morons. 

Have a nice day. 


Daddy Hawk

P.S. Your position statement on guns, while understandable, was one sided. A wiser business person would have reiterated their previous position and told the opposing sides to take their debate elsewhere and left it at that. As it is now, you've annoyed a significant portion of your potential customer base. 

P.P.S. Don't come crying to us when some liberal whack job shoots up one of your stores. 


  1. I love your PPS, by the way.

    Oh - comment on the original post - um...crap... I got nothin'. I was distracted by the PPS.

    Man, I'm getting old.

    1. GunDiva, upon reflection I should have said something about their victims/customers being attacked by football humping monkeys armed with dull spoons or zombies or something but that would have been to close to their core clientele.

  2. Next time you visit one of their stores, carry a large sum of Monopoly money.
    "Oh, I ran out of U.S. Dollars; since you feel free to substitute things without telling me I thought I would return the favor."

    1. Bob, that's an excellent idea. I wonder if it would work with my taxes.


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