Thursday, May 17, 2018

Random Humor

I grew up on Looney Tunes. So, this one really kicked over my giggle box. 

Always follow the assembly instructions when putting your Boxer together. 

If you hear those three words, you've already missed or ignored at least two other warning signs. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Please Spare a Kind Thought or a Prayer

Yesterday, Brigid of Home On The Range fame posted the words I have been dreading reading for sometime now. Her 98 year old father is in declining health.

I have never met Brigid in person though not for lack of trying (I had to miss a planned get together while on business in Chicago due to a massive migraine), but I have followed her in the blogosphere since my early days poking around this corner of the internet. She is one of the best of us. She has shared much; both pain and joy. She creates magic in prose.

Please spare a moment to whisper a kind word or a simple prayer for the peaceful passing of a man who means a lot to one of our tribe and to comfort those he leaves behind.

If you're of a mind to do so, go read I Thessalonians 4:13-18. It's the verse I always turn to in times such as these. It's God's Promise that no loss is permanent. A time of resurrection and reunion awaits us all. 

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Our Latest Business Idea

The Queen and I were on our way home recently from one of our favorite ice cream shops when we passed by a little hole in the wall, cheapy Chinese place not too far from the house that has been there for many years. The Queen was off in her own little world and blurted out the name of the place in a very funny manner which kicked over my giggle box. That led us to us having a giggle fest using fake Chinese names like Sum Ting Wong.

Then, I had one of those light bulb moments. Pretty much every Chinese place in North America has the same menu. Egg drop soup, wonton soup, egg rolls, spring rolls, kung pao chicken, etc, etc, etc. I thought, why can't we have a Chinese restaurant with a more interesting menu? We need a Chinese place that can laugh at itself. Here's some of the menu items we came up with.

Soups and Appetizers 
Egg Bong Soup - Only available in states that have legalized marijuana.

Egg Holes - Traditional egg rolls cut into inch thick slices, battered and deep fried. Served with your choice of dipping sauces.

Long Dic Dong - Foot long corny dogs served with soy sauce, hot mustard and chili sauce.

Mi Ow Mi Ow Skewers - Tender slices of "that's not chicken" marinated in soy sauce and grilled. Served with a bowl of cream sauce.

Poon Tang - Also known as the Ted Nugent. Sweet & Sour chicken with a slight alteration. The sauce is made with Tang.

Sum Yun Guy - Also known as the Jeffrey Dahmer. Finger sandwiches with a side of Van De Camp's Beanie Weenies.

Chu Man Chu - Also known as the Hannibal Lecter. Liver and onions with fava beans in a Chianti wine sauce.

Mi Ti Wang - Also known as the Conan (The Barbarian). Polish sausage marinated in anabolic steroids and served with a table side serenade of lamenting women.

Wonton Wang -

Hu Dun Wong - This is the Murder Mystery Dinner night.

Yu Dun Wong - The special for those cheating on their diets, and our take on the Turducken. A double cheeseburger, stuffed inside a burrito, wrapped in pizza, dipped in beer batter, deep fried and covered in queso sauce.

Fook Yu Fook Mi - Also known as the Austin Powers. This is the family combo with a little of everything for those who can't decide what to get.

Sum Ting Wong - Chef's surprise usually served with lots of apologies and cursing in fluent Mandarin.

Rice and Noodles
Limp Dic - For those with ED issues - a generous helping of Lo Mein noodles sprinkled with Cialis and Viagra

Won Hung Lo - One large meatball nested in a bed of Lo Mein noodles covered in bean spouts

Flied Lice - Standard Fried Rice just pronounced the correct way. 

Ding Dong - cream filled and chocolate covered

Hu Flung Pu - chocolate banana soft serve ice cream

Bang Won Wei - Also known as The Missionary. Plain vanilla ice cream with a banana on top. 

Ho Ho Platter - The dessert you pay to go away.
Harry Wang - our version of the classic Hair of the Dog hangover remedy.

Weenie Wang - Vienna Sausages served with a side of Flied Lice

For Those With Sensitive Diets
Shrimp Bang Bang - For midgets with flatulence issues. 

Saturday, May 5, 2018

And On The Seventh Day...

...She Rested.

And he, being a proud father, looked down upon her and smiled for she is everything good and right in the world.