As I have written
in these pages before, I love to tinker on things and work with my hands. I’ve
been working on my own stuff since I was old enough to hold a wrench. Sometimes
with amusing results. As I’ve gotten older and more experienced, my efforts
have become more successful and less amusing. More often than not, things
actually work like they are supposed to and stay fixed until something else
breaks. With that in mind, I thought I would share some insights and hard
learned lessons I’ve picked up over the years.
1)
Use
the right tool for the job – As tempting as it is to use a pair of channel locks
or a blow torch on a stuck nut or an SAE socket/wrench on a Metric fastener (or
vice versa), don’t do it. You will cause yourself needless aggravation and ruin
the nut (and possibly more than that). Trust me when I say that it is cheaper
to go buy the correct wrench or even a set of wrenches than to spend hours
tracking down, ordering and waiting for some out of state parts house to ship that
one bolt you need after you [insert stupid human trick here] and destroyed it.
2) Get
the best tools you can afford- Yes, good tools cost money, but you do not have
to spend Snap On tool truck prices to build up a decent set of tools that will
last you a lifetime. I still have the no name socket set someone gave me years
ago, and it still gets work done. I have since added other tools including some
Harbor Freight made in China specials and some “brand name” tools (also made in
China ironically). Start with a basic set of sockets and wrenches and work your
way up from there. Compare the cost of having your project “done by
professionals” versus the cost of doing it yourself. Spend the difference on
buying tools. Keep an eye on the big box stores around major holidays. They
almost always run a sale on tool sets in the $75 to $150 range. Those are a
bargain when you compare what you get versus what you’d pay for the collection
separately. Check Craigslist, FaceBook Market, Offer Up, and local pawn shops
for deals on expensive tools you want to have but for which you can’t justify
paying full price. Also, remember that limited use and specialty tools can be
rented or borrowed. Just remember that those tools are rented to sticky
fingered nephews and Opas who don’t always take care of them. I had to borrow a
harmonic balancer puller from AutoZone a while back. It was almost unsuable
because some gormless ape had bent the freaking kit bolts I needed to mount the
puller to my truck. We made it work, barely.
3)
Take
care of your tools – This SHOULD be a no brainer really. Don’t leave your tools
out in the rain to rust, make sure you wipe them down when your done with them,
don’t use your combination wrench as a hammer, don’t loan your tools to people
who don’t treat them properly (I’m looking at you Opa) or your sticky fingered
nephews, etc.
4)
Start
small and work your way up from there – just learning to change your own oil or
change the brake pads on your car can save you a lot of money long term, give
you a sense of pride and teach you valuable lessons in the process.
5)
Work
smarter not harder – while diving right in, unbolting everything in sight and
making a royal mess of things can be quite entertaining, it is not always the
most efficient method or a guaranteed path to success. Take a few minutes to
look at a manual, watch a YouTube video, etc. and learn a thing or two. A word
of warning, paper manuals are good but have their limitations. Haynes and
Chilton manuals typically address a range of model years and options and may
not have the specific photos or description of the particular thing on which
you are working. AllData is a bit better as it is year and model specific, but
it also assumes a bit more experience and knowledge upfront. I used to have the
full set of factory service manuals for the 1973 Ford Thunderbird from which it
was possible to assemble a complete car. Factory manuals are probably the best
option, but getting a hold of them is pricey and not as easy as other options. I
would only do that for a classic car I was restoring from the ground up as a
show car.
6)
A
garage or shop space is a huge plus – in this day and age of everyone
accumulating stuff and storing all the excess in their garages (if they even
have a garage), I cannot emphasize enough how nice it is to be able to work on
a vehicle in a place with a smooth, level concrete floor, out of the
wind/rain/snow/sun, etc. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to put
projects on hold because it was raining/hailing/the temperature of the sun’s
outhouse outside. Since I do not have a garage at my current residence and the allegedly
paved driveway could charitably be called “off road”, it makes for some
interesting maintenance experiences.
7)
You
have to be able to get the vehicle off the ground to work on it. A good quality
jack stands and a 3 ton floor jack should be considered a bare minimum for
working on your car. Ramps are helpful too. If you can afford a lift, they are
worth every penny. I really wish I had one.
8)
Don’t
trust everything you read on the internet – this also should be a given. Go on
any car forum, and you will find contradictory information…sometimes in the
same post as back to back comments. Setting gaskets is my favorite. Word of
advise: do what the manufacture of the gasket says to do not what some hick on
the internet says.
9)
If
you have everything apart, it really pays to go ahead and replace other things
in reach while you are already there. I’m mean you’ve done the work. Why would
you want to do it twice or four times? For instance, when replacing the
radiator on The Queen’s chariot, a smart husband would have gone ahead and
replaced the AC Condenser/Power Steering Cooler while he was there. Guess who
is not a smart husband? To be fair, you won’t always have the cash to do
everything that needs doing; but, when you can, go ahead and save yourself some
time and headaches. Especially if you have a higher mileage vehicle. For instance,
the second time I had the front end of The Queen’s chariot pulled apart, I went
ahead and changed the water pump, thermostat and thermostat housing while I was
at it. On the truck (which has two fuel pumps one of which died), I went ahead
and replaced both pumps since it was easier to remove the bed than it was to
drop both fuel tanks. If you have to pull the transmission for any reason, you
might as well go ahead and pull the flywheel too and change the rear main seal
on the engine as that is a common failure point for oil leaks.
10)
Quality
costs money – The old saying about buy once cry once really does apply to car
parts and tools. I’m not saying don’t buy cheap parts (because sometimes that’s
all you can afford), but I am saying that you will get better results by doing
a little research and paying for the best quality parts you can afford. That $40
no name part from China you bought off eBay from someone with a poor grasp of
the English language might last 5 minutes or 500,000 miles. You never know.
What I do know from personal experience is that, when that $40 no name piece of
junk craps the bed a month before the alleged warranty expires, you are out of luck
getting a replacement under warranty from Uncle Chen and his goofy nephew Wang.
I’d much rather deal with a North American company who will at least try to
play by the rules.
11)
Full
Synthetic Oil and Extended Life Oil Filters are worth the money.
12)
For
modern OBDII cars, buy a scan tool. Even a cheap one. I picked up the Blue Driver
scan tool which connects to my phone via Bluetooth for about $100. Best money I’ve
spent on a tool for diagnostic purposes. You can spend insane money on these
things; but, unless you intend to go pro or get deep into the weeds of
reprograming your ECU, there is a point of diminishing returns. A good tool
will tell you what the check engine codes means and the most likely fixes. They
do have their limitations though. They can’t tell you anything for which a
sensor is not connected. For instance, The Queen’s Chariot had, at one time, a
distressing habit of shorting out the number 5 coil. That code is P0305 on the
chariot. Okay, pull an electrical connector, remove one small bolt, pull the
bad coil, insert new coil, reinstall the bolt and connector, and done. Until a
few days later when the code pops again. What the…??? Now, we have to go digging
deeper. Upon inspection, I notice the coil/spark plug well has liquid in it.
Liquid and electrical components do not play Bueno together. My first thought was
that The Queen had barreled head long into a deep puddle at speed. Problem was
that it had not rained recently and she denied turning the chariot into a submarine.
So, there are precious few sources of liquid under the hood, and the pendulum
of possibilities swings over pretty quickly to the worst case and most
expensive scenario which is a cracked head. Before panicking too much, I
started the car to see if there were any obvious signs of a leak. Good thing I
did as I discovered that the heater hose had a pin hole leak in it directly
over cylinder 5’s spark plug well. It was spritzing a very small stream of
coolant into the well but wasn’t a big enough hole to be a visible leak when
the coolant system was not under pressure. Replaced the heater hose and the
coil (again). Problem solved.
13)
Corollary
to # 12, work simple/cheap to hard/expensive. If you hear hoof beats, think
horses not zebras. In rare cases it will be cows or wildebeasts; but,
generally, shaving with Occam’s Razor will get you better results than
rebuilding the engine every time a check engine light comes on.
14)
If
you find yourself in over your head, stop digging. There is no shame in asking
for help.
15)
Take
photos and notes as you go. You will thank yourself later when you forget how
the alternator is supposed to be mounted or something simple gets misplaced.
Being methodical about your work will pay huge dividends later. I tend to be
pretty anal about laying out bolts in the order and pattern they came out of
the car so I know how they are supposed to go back in. It’s not always possible
when you are disassembling a lot of stuff to get to a $20 part with only 2
bolts holding it in the car. Do the best you can and go slow. There are no trophies
for finishing a repair quickly if you have left over or buggered up parts.
16)
It’s
a good idea to double check your work to make sure you didn’t miss something
small. When I replaced the AC Condenser/Power Steering Cooler on the chariot, I
might have forgotten to tighten a hose fitting or two. Cleaning up a copious
amount of power steering fluid that sprayed all over the engine bay was no fun
but served as an excellent reminder to not skip over the small stuff.
17)
Engineers
are sadists who get perverse thrills off making it difficult to work on cars.
The design folks don’t help by insisting that everything “look pretty”. My
mother had one of the first Hyundai’s imported to the US back in 1986. Engineers
thought it would be cute to put the oil filter above the front sway bar, under
the alternator and covered over with a splash guard that had a hole in it in
the exact size and shape of the oil filter. Unsuspecting neophyte grease monkeys
might think it possible to remove the oil filter by that particular orifice.
Don’t believe it. It’s a trap. A monkey trap to be specific. Knowing what I
know now, the secret is to remove the splash guard and create the room you need
to access the things that need to be changed.
I’m sure there are
other things I’m forgetting, but this will do for now. Enjoy.
