Light Humor

After the last several days, I thought I would change the pace up with a massive humor post of images I have sent my subordinates as "Friday Funnies" here lately. Most of these images are shamelessly stolen from my Facebook feed. So, if they looks familiar, that's why.

Lies, Damned Lies and...

...attorneys and Texas Department of Family Protective Services.

AAAARRRRrrgggghhhhh!!!!!

Everything we were told about M&M's sister was false. Whether through gross incompetence or deliberate malice remains yet to be seen.

The icing on the cake is that the attorney we thought was going to represent us changed her mind yesterday afternoon. The hearing is less than a week away.

I may have to test the theory about fools for clients.

Can't give details yet. Will when I can.

More Advice for M&M

It's been a while since I posted any advice for M&M. So, it seemed somewhat serendipitous when I saw the following posted on the Book of Face:

click to embiggenate further

And, it occurred to me that someone needs to do a fisking of this not unlike was done to the Modern Man article that made the rounds recently. Since no one else is around to do it, I will have to tackle the task. So, without further adieu, here are the things My M&M Should Know.

1. Never spend any money on makeup. You are more beautiful just the way you are than any amount of makeup could ever make you. Beauty is more than just your physical, outward appearance. It is everything about you from your smile to your attitude to your to the things you say. Besides, makeup tastes funny.

2. Daddy Hawk is not sure what is meant by "keeping it chill with the eyeliner", but he feels certain that you would be safe referring to number 1 again.

3. You will not own a pushup bra while living under my roof. Obvious or not, Daddy Hawk knows why women buy them and he is uncomfortable with the idea of his daughter entertaining such notions. Daddy Hawk also finds it sad that the original author felt it necessary to lead with physical appearance issues instead of more substantive matters.

4. Daddy Hawk actually agrees with this one but with one minor addendum: "...because Daddy Hawk will kill him."

5. Daddy Hawk does not have a Twitter account; and, therefore, has no idea why this piece of advice was considered important by the original author. Daddy Hawk will agree to the extent necessary that saying things to a person's face whenever possible is good policy.

6. I seriously doubt that you would ever be so foolish as to tell your mother that you hate her. If you were so unwise as to utter such complete nonsense at Queen Ginger the First without contemplating the consequences of unleashing the wrath of the redhead, I am sure you will come to understand the depth of your folly from the comfort of your new life in the witness protection program.

7. Innocence is beautiful. Can't argue with that.

8. They do love to hear from you, you have much to learn from them and they won't be around forever.

9. The Golden Rule is an excellent rule to live by. If someone doesn't like you, you are under no obligation to like them. You still love them as God commanded, but you don't have to hang around them either.

10. A .357 works better,

11. Daddy Hawk loved you first, most and always and it has nothing to do with your beauty (although you are The Cutest Little Girl in the World (TM)). Walk away from any man who is only interested in your physical appearance. Look for a man who loves you like Daddy Hawk loves The Queen.

12. What kind of stupid, arbitrary crap is this?? Three strikes and you are out? What is this? Baseball? Conflict, sadness, emotion are all parts of a relationship with another person. Especially a close, intimate partnership with a spouse.

13. Daddy Hawk agrees with ignoring stereotypes. This applies to racism, prejudice and all forms of perception based ignorance. Martin Luther King was right; it's the content of a person's character that is most important.

14. Learning from ones mistakes is important. Just be sure you are merciful to yourself and others when those mistakes happen.

15. So can Daddy Hawk.

16. There is no substitute for home cooking. It's generally healthier for you too. Learn to cook. More importantly, learn to ENJOY cooking.

17. Your body won't stay the same forever. Learn to take care of it now, and you won't have to rely on your metabolism.

18. Everyday is a gift, treat it like one.

19. This one is actually good advice. In fact, it should have probably been number 1.

20. Someone has a hang up with physical beauty. They should see my comments at 17. and get a personality.

21. Prom night is evil. You won't miss a thing. Trust me.

In Other News...

After yesterday's post, here is a quick little something to brighten your day: cute pictures of M&M.

First, this is M&M's last moment as a three year old. This was taken at 11:59 PM just seconds before the date of her birth roughly a few weeks ago. Never in my life have I seen a child who sleeps as peacefully as she does. My sweet baby girl.

A recent pic of M&M hugging on The Queen. The Queen is a great mom, and M&M adores her.

Law of Unintended Consequences

Once again, I apologize for the conspicuous lack of content here of late. This year has been singularly stressful on all fronts, and my time and desire to sit at the keyboard and write anything has been greatly diminished. Even now, I sit in a seminar on bad faith listening to an attorney drone on about how big bad insurance companies get bent over a barrel in the heart of redneck country.

So, I figured I would use the time to do something productive like update my loyal readers (all 4 of you who are left) on the status of M&M's sister.

The short version is that the last 24 hours have been very stressful, and the prognosis is not encouraging.

So, what does that mean? Well, sit back and I will try to click out the long version. Bear with me.

Back before all this started, Texas' long sitting governor (gooberner) Rick Perry had delusions of grandeur and decided he should not seek reelection for yet another term leading the great state of Texas so that he could focus on running to be the Republican nominee for President of the United States (along with 30 something other hopefuls). Cheerleader Rick (he was an Aggie Yell Leader which is the Aggie version of a cheerleader) anointed then Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott as his chosen successor. Greg Abbott (who I have nothing against for the record) was duly elected in predictable red state fashion over the democrat nominee, Wendy Davis (who never had a snow balls chance in Hell's outhouse of winning), and took over the keys to the governor's mansion in January of this year.

One of the first things Governor Abbott did upon taking the reigns was to request a review of Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (Texas' version of child protective services) procedures and policies regarding removal of children from their homes. The idea was that DFPS was removing children from their homes too frequently for minor, easily correctable issues that didn't warrant removal and placement of children in foster care when a suitable "safety placement" was available.

So, the Parental Child Safety Placement process was hatched. The theory is that DFPS would recognize a danger to the child in the home that was serious enough that it was in the best interest of the child to be elsewhere to give the parent time to correct the dangerous condition (e.g. cleaning up the filth, throwing out the dead beat/drug dealing boyfriend, etc.) but which condition was not serious enough to pursue a formal removal into DFPS conservatorship and resulting foster care. The PCSP is intended to be a short term, temporary alternative (ideally less than 60 days) where the odds of the child returning home following correction of the dangerous condition are good and there is a suitable safety placement willing to be a voluntary caregiver under a formal, written agreement.

If you read the guidelines for the PCSP, it's quickly apparent that whoever wrote it didn't quite think through all the consequences and implications of the new policy and how it would gel with the existing policy framework or how it would be applied in practice. There is a huge, unstated, assumption that the voluntary caregiver will be a family member or someone with close, significant contacts with the family.

In practice, reality and the law of unintended consequences beats good intentions into submission every time.

So, what does this have to do with M&M 2.0's situation? She was born just in time for the new procedures to be put in place. Come to find out, DFPS quickly figured out that they could use the new process to intimidate parents in borderline cases into putting their children into safety placements which have NO COURT OVERSIGHT.

In a normal removal case, the DFPS files an emergency removal petition with the court to be granted conservatorship over the child so that the child can be placed in a licensed foster care home or the home of a responsible family member who can be granted temporary custody. In the case of a PCSP, the birth parent retains legal custody of the child but signs an agreement giving temporary care of the child to pretty much anyone they choose.

In M&M 2.0's case, the bios chose to give voluntary custody to someone they allegedly knew from church. Why I say allegedly will become apparent soon enough; however, there is no possibility that these people from church could have had close, significant contact with the family as the bios had only been back in Texas for less than a year at the time of 2.0's birth and the bios had continued their history and practice of couch surfing nomadic living arrangements with whichever friend or drug buddy was willing to put up with them for a while which included locations from all over the north Texas area.

Now, fast forward to yesterday. In November, we had been told that the bios had agreed to extend the safety placement for another 60 or 90 days to give them time to work their services plan (which, in typical bio fashion, they had not been working). We were prepared to wait around until January or February to find out what would happen next.

Then, the DFPS case worker called The Queen yesterday morning to inform us that the voluntary safety placement family was filing suit against the bios for child support (good luck finding blood in that turnip), legal custody (for which they are on shaky legal grounds at best to seek but apparently found someone to actually file the pleading) and a restraining order (me thinks the welcome mat has been withdrawn). The case worker wanted to know if we would be willing to allow visitation between the siblings apparently assuming that this development would go unchallenged by us.

Tee hee...that's so cute. Fertilizer...meet fan.

Come to find out, the safety placement family is not unlike us in that they are childless and incapable of having children of their own. Naturally, they have bonded with 2.0 and want to keep her. Unlike us, they are pursuing questionable legal tactics instead of having patience and faith. Interestingly, they are also claiming they do not know the bios which directly calls into question DFPS' handling of the PCSP which requires that the safety placement have close, significant contacts with the family.

Needless to say, we are not amused.

Cousin L has been informed of these developments, and she has been in contact with the bios. Female bio was reportedly clueless about these developments and does not want to lose her latest offspring but was open to the idea of pulling the voluntary placement from church family and moving 2.0 to our home. Male bio adamantly refuses to consider moving 2.0 to our house and is now threatening Cousin L with termination of all future contact unless Cousin L drops everything and comes to Texas to get 2.0 (you may recall that Cousin L lives in a western state some 1200 miles away).

Meanwhile, The Queen and I await a call back from an attorney recommended to us by our foster care/adoption agency to see what, if any legal recourse we have in this situation.

That's the news fit to print at the moment. Further updates as events warrant.

Still Kickin'

I realize that I have neglected my little corner of the intertubes for much longer than I would like. I would like to plead something exciting...like winning the lottery or traveling to Mars.

Yeah. No such luck there.

Equal parts too busy, too tired and too couldn't get my give a care jump started with a flux capacitor attached to a lightning rod.

Sorry about that. We all go honey badger on the world every once in a while.

It's not like you've missed out on anything important.

In no particular order, here is the quick and dirty rundown on life since last we spoke.

I've made it through the first three months of the new job. It seems like it has been much longer than that. By all accounts, they like me and think I know what I am doing. That's positive since the CEO just hired a new executive for the claims operations which has everyone on pins and needles waiting for the ax(es) to fall. I am reasonable sure that my position is safe, and the general consensus among those up the food chain is that most everyone director level and below will not be directly affected. The AVP and VP level, however, is enjoying a wonderful case of heart burn right now.

My bet is that our current VP has about 3 to 6 months left with the company. There are a few others who will experience the job description discussion from "Office Space", and I foresee at least one "Don't you understand? I'm a people person." meltdown.

Whatever. As long as the paycheck clears and the fertilizer to work ratio stays reasonably bearable, I'm good for now.

No news on M&M's sister. Last we heard, it was the same song, third verse. Knowing and loathing the system as we do, we're doing our best to tune out the anxiety and live life instead of waiting by the phone for a call that may never come.

M&M continues to grow like a weed. She turns four very soon, and she is above average in height and development. She speaks clearer with a greater vocabulary than several kids months older than her that we know. The Queen has been teaching her the ABCs, writing, etc. She's even starting to read a little bit. She's super strong and healthy. She had her first round of swimming lessons over the summer and took to it like a duck. We also enrolled her in gymnastics (or "gymnasties" as she calls it) which she REALLY enjoys. She loves horses and gets her first riding lesson on Friday.

So, basically, she's growing up, and The Queen and I are both proud and sad at the same time.

Now that things have calmed down somewhat on the job and home fronts, I'm trying to noodle up a side gig to earn a little extra money. I'd love to make custom knives or guns, but those take money, equipment and skills that I lack at the moment. Custom leather work or wood working may be an option. The Queen wants me to start a small business risk management consulting firm of some sort. I think there is an opportunity there, but it doesn't speak to me the way the other ideas do.

The 2016 presidential race is shaking out about like I expected. Hillary, despite everyone admitting that she violated Federal law which should land her in jail, looks to be teflon coated and the only game in town for the Democrats. The Republicans are doing their best to run a campaign based on "The Biggest Loser". Rick Perry dropped out early which, frankly, doesn't come as a surprise. He was a decent governor. Not great, but not dismal either. Scott Walker dropped out too which disappoints me a little. I get the Trump thing, but I really hope he decides he has better things to do and throws his support behind a more "legitimate" candidate. Ben Carson is polling well right now, but I'm not sure if he has the backing to be there at the end. I'd really like to see Ted Cruz doing better in the polls, but don't count him out yet.

Then there's Jeb. The media seems to have already decided he's "the guy". He's the safe candidate for the Republican establishment which means he's too moderate for my tastes. Putting him up against Hillary is going to see the Repub's chances of winning the election go down faster than torpedoes at Pearl Harbor.

Needless to say, my outlook for the future is not rosy right now.

So, in order to leave you on a positive note, here are some recent pictures of the Cutest Little Girl in the World.

This is the wallpaper on my office computer desk top right now. I had been waiting a long time to get a photo like this one, and it finally happened a few months ago.

She's so cute when she is being a "proper lady".

A few M&M and Daddy Hawk pics. I love my time with her.

Did I mention she LOVES horses. This horse's name is "Death Wish" (no, really, but he also goes by Killer). She sat up on him and rode him bareback like a boss (with Killer's owner and trainer close by).

I think the respective looks says it all. The kitten wants down NOW, and M&M is giving me the innocent "can I keep him" look.

That's all for now. I've got work to do.