1) Come to the door.
Go on. Honk the horn from the curb. I dare you.
2) Dress nicely.
If I see your underwear, I will pull it up over your head and tie it off to your shoelaces.
3) Show respect.
Both for M&M and for The Queen and me. DISrespect will be dealt with...harshly.
4) Speak clearly and use proper English.
Proper pronunciation and enunciation is your friend. Everything you say can and will be used against you. Gutter slang, Ebonics, mumbling and foul language will not be tolerated.
5) You will be background checked. Deal with it.
6) If I see you in the news, it had better be for saving kittens or something equally worthy.
If the article or story mentions you and the words "perpetrator" or "suspect" in the same sentence, walk away now while you still can.