Friday, October 22, 2010

A View From The Exit Row

After the mercifully short first leg of my return flight home last night on a Boeing 737 crammed to the gills with 137 fellow travelers and me stuck in a middle seat between two gentlemen who were fortunately not nearly as broad shouldered as I am or more girthy around the middle than me, I was able to bask in the luxurious comfort of this glorious emergency exit row seat on the final leg back into Dallas Love Field.

All hail Southwest Airlines' most recent seating configuration.

Be it known, if given the opportunity, I will, without any sign of remorse or regret, throw small children and little old ladies out of my way to get this seat. If necessary, I will resort to bribery and shameless blackmail. Short people should not even THINK of sitting in this seat as it will not even cause me a moment's hesitation to sit all 240 pounds of my slightly overweight frame on your lap to enjoy the TWO FULL ROWS of abundant leg room without fear of some morbidly obese whale reclining his or her seat into my already shot knees.

When you are 6 foot 4 inches tall flying on ANY airline these days, you will resort to any measures to achieve even the slightest bit of comfort.


  1. Okay, okay, the tall person's seat is all yours! But in defense of all short people - even our legs get cramped too.

  2. GunDiva, I would be more sympathetic if it weren't for the fact that the world is made for short people.

  3. If you're ever on a flight with my not-very-tall self, have no fear-the emergency exit row is all yours due to the fact I wouldn't be able to save the masses because I'd be in a valium and salty dog induced coma. So, I'm counting on you to get me off that plane in one piece ;0)!

  4. Candance, chances are good that, if you are sleeping with Prince Valium on your doomed flight, you will die much more peacefully than the rest us with our heads tucked between our legs kissing our butts goodbye.


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