Sunday, January 13, 2013

It's Sunday Morning...

...and the natives are restless. So, while I tune out the house midgets who are safely limited to the TV room for now to play and do whatever young house apes do, I thought I'd take a moment to update you on things. To borrow and paraphrase from a police officer acquaintance  with whom I did a ride along many years ago when I was in college. A police officer who ran afoul of the department rules, had an accident or suffered the indignity of a citizen complaint had to write a "Dear Chief" letter. The opening sentence of such a letter said: "Dear Chief, Much has transpired since last we spoke."

And so...

Dear Readers, 

Much has transpired since last I wrote.

Mini Me and The Banshee are still here, but last week's CPS visit with momma and daddy/step daddy brought some unexpected news. We had been told that nothing would happen with their case until the next court status hearing in mid March. That was of great concern for us as we have had an increasingly difficult time controlling these two as we are prevented from using "Biblical" disciplinary methods which actually, you know, work. 

Mini Me has gotten it in his head that he will be returned to his momma faster if he disobeys The Queen and I. He does it EVERY day. Sometimes several times a day. It is absolutely draining because we never know when he is going to disobey in a serious manner that results in injury to him or the girls. Time out does not work. He finds standing with his nose stuck in the corner unpleasant but not enough so that he will change his behavior. He does not like anything that he perceives as making him look silly in his mind. We don't resort to that often. The nuclear option is calling the agency caseworker. He FEARS us calling her.

The Banshee needs to be watched constantly lest she be located hanging from the ceiling fans. When she is thwarted in whatever scheme she has cooked up in her little toddler brain, she screams and hollers. When she is happy, she grins with her whole face. When she is unhappy, she unleashed the full power of her fully operational, planet killing, vocal cords. Oh, and she is planning her next three crimes while committing the current one. She is talented that way. Her bio momma has no clue what she is in for.

Add to that the security issue I mentioned a couple of posts ago, and the thought of these kids staying for at least another couple of months had us at the end of our rope. The security issue arose from Mini Me's real bio dad getting out of prison a little over a week ago. Bio mom claims she wants nothing to do with him just before she turns around and says she is going to go after him for child support. Doh! Well, Dr. Evil didn't take that standing still. He went and got himself some sharks with frikkin' laser beams in their heads and threatened to involve his lawyer to get visitation with Mini Me. He was also going to move in with his sister when he got out of the pokie...his sister that happens to live in the same small suburb as The Queen and I do. 

But wait, the stupid is strong in this one. Momma has been in contact with Dr. Evil's sister on Facebook and has told sister that we live in the same suburb and the general area where we live. We have never told her where we live, but Mini Me is old enough and verbal enough to get her in the ballpark. Besides, it's not hard to get an exact address with a name, city and mediocre Google Fu. So, given that bio momma has no filter between her mouth and her brain, we could not be sure that she hasn't gotten our address and passed it along to Dr. Evil. 

So, The Queen and I were forced to put CPS and the foster agency on notice of the problem. We thought they might want to move Mini Me and The Banshee to another foster home for everyone's safety. But, no. That would be too logical. They apparently think that Dr. Evil is just blowing smoke to get under bio mom's skin. CPS has said that Dr. Evil will have to set up a separate visit time if he wants to see Mini Me. For our part, we told CPS they will have to figure out how to get Mini Me there as we don't want any part of that. We will see if Dr. Evil ever actually sets up a visit. 

He will probably be content to just have sex with bio mom before he gets arrested again. That's been their pattern from what we have been told.

Anyway, enough of about that festering disaster. I told you all that to tell you this: the CPS caseworker told The Queen at the weekly visit with the parents that this whole thing has gone on long enough and it's getting ridiculous (I paraphrase but not much). The caseworker told The Queen that she will begin monitored return of Mini Me and The Banshee to the parents as soon as they get an acceptable place to live. That means that the two kiddos would go back home on weekends initially. Once CPS decides that the bios are capable of actually providing a safe household, the kiddos go home for good. Bio mom told The Queen that they would be looking for a place to live this weekend. We haven't heard yet whether they found one, but it's possible that the transition could begin as early as next weekend if they find a place and CPS signs off on it. 

I was only joking a little when I told The Queen that I would drag them kicking and screaming to a suitable apartment complex if they didn't choose one on their own by the end of this weekend.

Moving right along, The Queen and I had a visit with the CPS adoption caseworker regarding M&M last week. It was very enlightening. At the trial on M&M's parent's rights, the court stated that there would be a 90 day appeal period. Counting forward, that would have meant late February would have been the earliest we would be able to adopt M&M assuming there was no appeal. The case worker told us that our understanding was incorrect. The 90 day period is actually split in half to two 45 day periods. The first 45 days is the parents' time to file an appeal. The second 45 days is there for CPS to consider any family members that have not already been identified. Our case worker told us that, in a case like this, the judge will usually green light CPS to move forward with adoption at the end of the 45 days. 

The first 45 days ended last Thursday or Friday depending on how that sort of thing is counted.

There has been no appeal to our knowledge. 

There might have been a happy dance involved. Okay, there was a happy dance involved. No, there is no video. You don't want to see me dance. It's not pretty.

The Queen and I only have a couple of small hurdles left before we can officially introduce you to our daughter. First, we have to review her case file. That's two 3 or 4 inch binders full of records and reports. I did that last night. There were no shocking revelations. It pretty much confirmed everything we already knew. 

Second, we have to have an adoptive placement meeting with CPS. That is scheduled for this coming week. 

Following that, we can adopt her as soon as we can get the consummation hearing scheduled on the court's docket. I sent a check for the filing fee off to the attorney on Friday. Barring an last minute snags, M&M will be ours by the end of the month. There is a slim possibility that it could happen as early as this coming Friday. 

I have to go now. My eyes are blurry for some reason, and I can't see what I am typing.

That's a HUGE light saber!!!

14 comments:

  1. Daddy Hawk...i honestly don't have any idea of what to possibly say. you and the Queen have nerves of steel...and kryptonite! i wish i had words...i really wish i had words! but i don't. and i feel like a right bugger for not having a single thing to say. except that i am glad that there are angels in the world. God made certain that we would have angels here to help us, show us the way, and lead us. He did a right fine job.

    your friend,
    kymber

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    Replies
    1. kymber, it's good to hear from you again. I was beginning to wonder if you had forsaken the blogging world. Thanks for the kind words. I agree that God has done a right fine job. I;m very close to finishing M&M's story. You'll see what I'm talking about then.

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    2. DH - what i meant about angels was directed at you and the Queen. you both are angels for putting up with all that you have put up with. it cannot be easy and reading this last post of yours was exhausting...both physically and emotionally. i can only imagine how difficult this is on both of you...especially when you are so close to being able to adopt baby M&M. and yet somehow you both manage to do it...you are angels to all of those children. angels, i say. God did a right mighty fine job when he decided to put angels on earth to help us.

      your friend,
      kymber
      (p.s. - give the Queen a big hug from me. while you are hugging her, she will be hugging you from me.)

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    3. kymber, please don't take this as false humility, but I'm no angel. The Queen...maybe...probably. M&M, definitely. Me...? I don't have wings; and, if I did, they would be so tattered it'd look like I was molting.

      Yes, it has been difficult. We remind each other every day now that it's just a little bit longer. Just a few more days until she is ours forever.

      Hugs all around. Thanks again for your friendship and your kind words.

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  2. Wonderful news. Lots of prayers for you and yours.

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    1. Jennifer, thanks. We appreciate all the prayers.

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  3. DH,

    Prayers on the good news about M&M.
    If you feel necessary, please contact me about using Bunker BS as fall back location.
    While I don't want to bring problems to my family, I also don't want to leave someone in the lurch if they need help.

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    Replies
    1. Bob, thanks for the offer. We have a couple of rural retreats available to us should the need arise. Hopefully it will be a moot point soon.

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  4. Hang in there. I've appreciated all the email posts with updates. It will be over soon, and you can just concentrate on being Dad.

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    Replies
    1. Brigid, I'm hanging on with a good grip and a lot of patience. I am really getting anxious to focus on just being dad.

      You are welcome for the email updates. If you'd like a preview of the uber post of M&M's story, I'm looking for an editor.

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  5. I have been reading your blog since day one and have prayed daily for you two to be able to adopt M&M, I am so happy it is working out for you

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    1. Anon, thanks for your support. We appreciate the prayers.

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  6. *does Ickey Shuffle*

    Awesome news about M&M!

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    Replies
    1. Auntie J, if you're not too proud, send video of the Ickey Shuffle.

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